Derek Landy citations

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant… The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”

“We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant”

“We didn't die,' she said.

Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'

I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin.”

“Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.”

“Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.”

“I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.”

“We're not really intruding," he called down. "This is all a big misunderstanding."
"Stop right there!" shouted one of them.
Skulduggery held his hand to an ear he didn't have.
"What's that?"
"Stop!"
"Keep going?"
"STOP!"
"OK, we'll keep going.”

“That's a shame. I'm sure somebody, somewhere, cares.”

“I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.”

“Is he all scarred now?”

“Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.”

“The rain battered the cottage. Valkyrie risked a look up at Skulduggery.
“What is it?” she whispered.
“It’s a box,” he whispered back.
“What kind of box?”
“A wooden one.”
She gave him a look.”

“You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery”

“I have sought you out to cure me.'
'To cure you of what?'
'Of this cursed affliction.'
'I cannot cure stupidity.'
Scapegrace frowned.”

“The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.”

“Guild doesn't like me."
"That's true."
"He doesn't like you, ether."
"That is mystifying.”

“Emergency Valve Regulators," she repeated. "So you do know what your doing?
"Not really," he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones.”

“Very' is such a strong word…”

“don't treat me like a child."
He smiled. "Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with less respect than an adult.”

“You're late,' he said.
'I'm beautiful.'
'You're always beautiful.'
'I'm always late too.”

“Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”

“Desmond, don't poke the baby!'…
'I'll get you next time-'
Don't threaten the baby either!'…”

“Stephanie had no problem doing what she
was told, just so long as she was given a good reason why she
should.”

“I'm fairly certain. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my own imagination”

“You be sure to throw the book at him, you hear me? I feel violated, Detective. Violated."
"I'll throw this table at you if you don't give us the names we're looking for.”

“So what does that actually mean?'
'To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion.'
'Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his full title,' Tipstaff said.
'Of course,' Skulduggery said. 'To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion.”

“Have you killed anyone?” she asked quickly.
“What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into
an art form?”
“But you haven’t actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read
your file.”
He glowered. “Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t”

“This isn't funny. She was almost killed.'
'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.'
'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.'
'I just need a name.”

“Wait, do they even know I'm coming with you?"
"No. But they like surprises. Almost always.”

“I used to be so good at that kind of thing," Skulduggery said quietly.
"Well, my morale is certainly boosted," Valkyrie informed him.
"Really?"
"god no. That was terrible”