W. S. Gilbert: Trending quotes

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W. S. Gilbert: 134 quotes1 like

“Is life a boon?
If so it must befall
That death when e're he call
Must call too soon.”

The Yeomen of the Guard (1888)

“Some word that teems with hidden meaning, like "Basingstoke". It might recall me to my saner self. For, after all, I am only Mad Margaret! Daft Meg! Poor Meg! He! he! he!”

Ruddigore (1887)

“Yes, I am the Apostle of Simplicity. I am called Archibald the All-Right, for I am infallible.”

Patience (1881)

“…Darwinian Man, though well-behav’d,
At best is only a monkey shav’d!”

Princess Ida (1884)

“I love my fellow-creatures, I do all the good I can,
Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man
And I can't think why!”

The disagreeable Man (from Princess Ida).
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)

“No money, no grovel!
(Actually an ad-lib introduced by Rutland Barrington when playing the rôle of Pooh-Bah, to the annoyance of Gilbert.)”

The Mikado (1885)

“The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this and every country but his own.”

The Mikado (1885)

“It's true I've got no shirts to wear,
It's true my butcher's bill is due,
It's true my prospects all look blue,
But don't let that unsettle you!
Never you mind!
Roll on!”

It rolls on.
To the Terrestrial Globe.
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)

“My eyes are fully open to my awful situation, I shall go at once to Roderic and make him an oration,
I shall tell him I've recovered my forgotten moral senses, and I don't care tuppence ha'penny for any consequences.
Now I do not want to perish by the sword or by the dagger, but a martyr may indulge a little pardonable swagger
And a word or two of compliment my vanity would flatter, but I've got to die to-morrow, so it really doesn't matter!”

Ruddigore (1887)

“Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule—
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.”

The first Lord's Song.
H.M.S. Pinafore (1878)

“Heigh-dy! Heigh-dy!
Misery me, lack-a-day-dee!
He sipped no sup, and he craved no crumb,
As he sighed for the love of a ladye!”

The Yeomen of the Guard (1888)

“Pooh Bah: This professional conscientiousness is highly creditable to you, but it places us in a very awkward position.
Koko: My good sir, the awkwardness of your position is grace itself compared with that of a man engaged in the act of cutting off his own head.”

The Mikado (1885)

“A pallid and thin young man,
A haggard and lank young man,
A greenery-yallery, Grosvenor Gallery,
Foot-in-the-grave young man!”

Patience (1881)

“Oh! my name is John Wellington Wells,
I'm a dealer in magic and spells,
In blessings and curses
And ever-filled purses,
In prophecies, witches, and knells.

If you want a proud foe to "make tracks"—
If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax—
You've but to look in
On our resident Djinn,
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!”

Mr Wells' song, Act I.
"Simmery Axe" is the traditional pronunciation of "St. Mary Axe", a road in the City of London.
In Gilbert's day, the last building was number 68, though number 70 was built later.
The Sorcerer (1877)

“If you want a receipt for that popular mystery,
Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon -
Take all the remarkable people in history,
Rattle them off to a popular tune!”

Patience (1881)

“As someday it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list, I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed—who never would be missed!”

Song, "As someday it may happen".
The Mikado (1885)

“She may very well pass for forty three
In the dusk with the light behind her.”

Trial by Jury (1875)

“You have a daughter, Captain Reese,
Ten female cousins and a niece,
A ma, if what I'm told is true,
Six sisters and an aunt or two.
Now, somehow, Sir, it seems to me,
More friendly-like we all should be
If you united of them to
Unmarried members of the crew.”

Captain Reese.
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)

“On a tree by a river a little tomtit
Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow"
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing ‘Willow, titwillow, titwillow?'.
"Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried,
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?"
With a shake of his poor little head he replied,
"Oh, Willow, titwillow, titwillow!"”

The Suicide's Grave (from The Mikado).
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)

“But I submit, my lord, with all submission,
To marry two at once is Burglaree!”

Trial by Jury (1875)