Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 8)

“Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.”

“It was a nice day.”

“He helped the Librarian up. There was a red glow in the ape's eyes. It had tried to steal his books. This was probably the best proof any wizard could require that the trolleys were brainless.”

“All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place. Like shooting someone.”

“Fate can be one mean god at times.”

“Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.”

“The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.”

“They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.”

“So much paperwork to read! So much paperwork to push away! So much paperwork to pretend he hadn't received and that might have been eaten by gargoyles.”

“Romancin’ is verra important, ye ken. Basically it’s a way the boy can get close to the girl wi’oot her attackin’ him and scratchin’ his eyes oot.”

“Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.”

“The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness.”

“Now," snapped the Dean, "we've searchedfor a decent library on this island. There simply isn't one! It's ridiculous. How is anyone supposed to get anything done?”

“His mind worked fast, flying in emergency supplies of common sense, as human minds do, to construct a huge anchor in sanity and prove that what happened hadn't really happened and, if it had happened, hadn't happened much.”

“NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR?
Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.”

“This is Morbidia," said Vlad. "Although she's been calling herself Tracy lately, to be cool.”

“Don't try the paranormal until you know what's normal.”

“I think it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone famous to come from here, because everyone around here is insane.”

“Dedication: My thanks to the people who showed me that opera was stranger than I could imagine. I can best repay their kindness by not mentioning their names here.”