Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes

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Terry Pratchett: 1592 quotes906 likes

“As a boy I had a clear image of the Almighty: He had a tail coat and pinstriped trousers, black, slicked-down hair and an aquiline nose.
On the whole, I was probably a rather strange child, and I wonder what my life might have been like if I'd met a decent theologian when I was nine.”

Terry Pratchett

"I create gods all the time - now I think one might exist" (2008)

“I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god's will" when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“I wish that the people who sing about the deeds of heroes would think about the people who have to clear up after them.”

Terry Pratchett book The Carpet People

The Carpet People (1971; 1992)

“Next comes the realist phase ("After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.").”

Terry Pratchett book The Unadulterated Cat

About giving a cat a pill
The Unadulterated Cat (1989)

“Perhaps, if you knew you were going to die, your senses crammed in as much detail as they could while they still had the chance…”

Terry Pratchett The Nome Trilogy

Truckers, Ch. 1
The Nome Trilogy (1989 - 1990)

“Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.”

Terry Pratchett book Johnny and the Dead

Johnny and the Dead (1993)

“I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly.”

Terry Pratchett

alt.fan.pratchett (5 July 1992) http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.pratchett/browse_frm/thread/6d66f88060364dbb <br class="br">Usenet

“Nerds are the only people who know how to operate the video recorder.”

Terry Pratchett

Desert Island Discs (1997) http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00944ry/ <br class="br">General sources

“I can't have your subjects throwing my family over the balcony, that would never do.'
'Good,' said Snibril.
'I'll do it myself.”

Terry Pratchett book The Carpet People

The Carpet People (1971; 1992)

“I asked a teacher what the opposite of a miracle was and she, without thinking, I assume, said it was an act of God.
You shouldn't say something like that to the kind of kid who will grow up to be a writer; we have long memories.”

Terry Pratchett

"I create gods all the time - now I think one might exist" (2008)

“If I heeded all the advice I've had over the years, I'd have written 18 books about Rincewind.”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma…”

Terry Pratchett book Men at Arms

Men at Arms

“Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.”

Terry Pratchett book The Last Continent

Source: The Last Continent

“And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“You're not going to die, are you sir?' he said.
'Of course I am. Everyone is. That's what being alive is all about.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Truckers, Ch. 7
The Nome Trilogy (1989 - 1990)
Source: Sourcery

“And then there was the headless horseman!" said Tiffany. "He had no head!"
"Well, that is the major job qualification," said the toad.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals