Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 5)

“I wish that the people who sing about the deeds of heroes would think about the people who have to clear up after them.”

“Next comes the realist phase ("After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.").”

“Perhaps, if you knew you were going to die, your senses crammed in as much detail as they could while they still had the chance…”

“Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.”

“I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly.”

“Nerds are the only people who know how to operate the video recorder.”

“I can't have your subjects throwing my family over the balcony, that would never do.'
'Good,' said Snibril.
'I'll do it myself.”

“I asked a teacher what the opposite of a miracle was and she, without thinking, I assume, said it was an act of God.
You shouldn't say something like that to the kind of kid who will grow up to be a writer; we have long memories.”

“If I heeded all the advice I've had over the years, I'd have written 18 books about Rincewind.”

“Just because you’re a zombie doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

“I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma…”

“No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”

“Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.”

“Religion is not an exact science. Sometimes, of course, neither is science.”

“And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!”

“You're not going to die, are you sir?' he said.
'Of course I am. Everyone is. That's what being alive is all about.”

“And then there was the headless horseman!" said Tiffany. "He had no head!"
"Well, that is the major job qualification," said the toad.”

“Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.”

“One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.”