Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 5)

“I asked a teacher what the opposite of a miracle was and she, without thinking, I assume, said it was an act of God.
You shouldn't say something like that to the kind of kid who will grow up to be a writer; we have long memories.”

“If I heeded all the advice I've had over the years, I'd have written 18 books about Rincewind.”

“Just because you’re a zombie doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

“I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma…”

“No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”

“Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.”

“Religion is not an exact science. Sometimes, of course, neither is science.”

“And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!”

“You're not going to die, are you sir?' he said.
'Of course I am. Everyone is. That's what being alive is all about.”

“And then there was the headless horseman!" said Tiffany. "He had no head!"
"Well, that is the major job qualification," said the toad.”

“Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.”

“One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.”

“That's the way it was. Privilege, which just means 'private law.' Two types of people laugh at the law; those that break it and those that make it.”

“Well done,' said a voice somewhere behind him. 'Consciousness to sarcasm in five seconds!”

“Them as can do, has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.”

“The thing about stories is you have to pick the ones that last.”

“Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!”

“Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.”

“Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.”