Stephen Colbert: Want

“And then I'm weak. As much as I want to make the audience laugh, I really want to make Jon laugh.”

Stephen Colbert

Entertainment Weekly interview http://www.jerriblank.com/colbert_ew.html, August 13, 2004, on his character break during the infamous Prince Charles sketch on The Daily Show.
Context: Such a proud moment of professionalism. You work for years crafting cogent satirical essays and the thing that everybody remembers is me making love to a Chiquita and bursting into laughter. What you can't see off camera is Jon started laughing first. And then I'm weak. As much as I want to make the audience laugh, I really want to make Jon laugh.

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”

Stephen Colbert

World

“I'm surprised at the reaction it got. I went down there and did exactly what I wanted. I didn't expect it to be some sort of cultural-political line in the sand.”

Stephen Colbert

On the reaction to his performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, in Entertainment Weekly (4 January 2007)
Context: I'm surprised at the reaction it got. I went down there and did exactly what I wanted. I didn't expect it to be some sort of cultural-political line in the sand. I did the style of jokes I'd been doing for six months. The fact that anybody found it surprising or alarming that I would do that was educational to me.

“Over the last five years you people were so good — over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.”

Stephen Colbert

White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (2006)
Context: As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America — with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good — over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.

People , Intelligence , Time

“He wants to do the right thing but has none of the tools to achieve it. Because he has no curiosity, he doesn't like to read and he won't listen anybody, except the voices in his head.”

Stephen Colbert

On his character in The Colbert Report in an interview on Larry King Live (11 October 2007) http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/larry.king.live/
Context: We worked very hard to keep him from being a jerk by keeping in mind he's well intentioned. Just poorly informed. He wants to do the right thing but has none of the tools to achieve it. Because he has no curiosity, he doesn't like to read and he won't listen anybody, except the voices in his head.

Reading

“Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn”

Stephen Colbert book I Am America (And So Can You!)

Source: I Am America

God , Animals

“Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge… or when I want to create some.”

Stephen Colbert

Knowledge

“Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.”

Stephen Colbert

Women

“Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state
that makes people want to flee the Earth?"

- Stephen Colbert to Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones,
"The Colbert Report," November 3, 2005”