Stephen Colbert: Trending quotes

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Stephen Colbert: 262 quotes3 likes

A six-word autobiography, NationalPost.com http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/theampersand/archive/2007/12/13/six-word-memoir-contest-explodes-read-ten-of-the-best-first-fifty-entries.aspx, (13 December 2007)

“Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.”

Stephen Colbert

"A Mock Columnist, Amok" http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/14/opinion/14dowd.html, in The New York Times (14 October 2007)

“It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.”

Stephen Colbert

In response to a question about what he would put into a Jon Stewart Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor, University of Buffalo Distinguished Speakers Series (4 April 2008)

“(on Alex Jones) He is a terrible person who lies for a living.”

Stephen Colbert

"The Tonight Show," May 19, 2017.

“At Pottery Barn, if you knock over a lamp, you have to glue it back together, even if when you're done it looks terrible and it doesn't work. Oh, and you have to stay in the store forever. Oh, and it's an exploding lamp.”

Stephen Colbert

On the "Pottery Barn Rule," The Colbert Report (16 May 2007)

“Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.”

Stephen Colbert

"The Colbert Report," November 12, 2009.

“Stephen: You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They criticize what you say, but they never give you credit for how loud you say it. Or how long you say it.”

Stephen Colbert

The O'Reilly Factor, January 2007

“Stephen: I spend so much time in the world that is spinning all the time, that to be in the no-spin zone actually gives me vertigo.”

Stephen Colbert

The O'Reilly Factor, January 2007

“I teach Sunday School, motherfucker.”

Stephen Colbert

Interviewing Stanford University professor emeritus Dr. Philip Zimbardo, author of the book The Lucifer Effect. After an increasingly heated debate on the problem of theodicy, Colbert sets the record straight responding to Zimbardo's slightly sarcastically charged "Obviously you learned well in Sunday School". The Colbert Report http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/player.jhtml?ml_video=149094&ml_collection=&ml_gateway=&ml_gateway_id=&ml_comedian=&ml_runtime=&ml_context=show&ml_origin_url=%2Fmotherload%2F%3Flnk%3Dv%26ml_video%3D149094&ml_playlist=&lnk=&is_large=true (11 February 2008)

“The message of Christ isn't that you can't kill me. The message of Christ is you can kill me and that's not death.”

Stephen Colbert

Interview with Joe Hagan appearing in Vanity Fair, October 2020

“When you’re in this room, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s soaked in history. It just washes over you. I mean, it’s not even like it’s in the past. You’re in history. You’re in it.”

Stephen Colbert

Source: " Stephen Colbert Tells Rep. Adam Schiff What Russian Oligarch Revealed About Trump 'Pee Tape' https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stephen-colbert-adam-schiff-pee-tape_n_616e2de7e4b00cb3cbd6ead0" (2021?)+videos