Stephen Colbert: Trending quotes

Stephen Colbert trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Stephen Colbert: 262 quotes3 likes

“Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!”

Stephen Colbert book I Am America (And So Can You!)

Source: I Am America

“I like the fact of John McCain's head being severed. Like that it will fit so much more nicely up George Bush's butt!”

Stephen Colbert

“I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory”

Stephen Colbert

“Oliver Cromwell can kiss my singing emerald scrotum!”

Stephen Colbert

“Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.”

Stephen Colbert

“… why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.”

Stephen Colbert book I Am America (And So Can You!)

Source: I Am America

“Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence… 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.”

Stephen Colbert

“Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done. Except the quiet enveloping darkness at the bottom of a bottle of Jim Beam after a job done any way at all.”

Stephen Colbert

“Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.”

Stephen Colbert

“Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.”

Stephen Colbert

“It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.”

Stephen Colbert

“NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ”

Stephen Colbert

“My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned, but an idiot… So we said, "Let's give him a promotion."”

Stephen Colbert

"Colbert spoofs cable news on Daily Show spinoff" Associated Press report (31 October 2005)

“After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.”

Stephen Colbert

“Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in
one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies”

Stephen Colbert book I Am America (And So Can You!)

Source: I Am America

“Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.”

Stephen Colbert