“Lionel: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.Marge: But we did win.Lionel: That's okay. The box is empty.”Phil Hartman On the Simpsons, Lionel Hutz
“Lionel: I've been getting a lot of calls about you, Marge. People just love your no-pressure approach.Marge: Well, you know what we say: the right house for the right person.Lionel: I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The right house is the house that's for sale. And the right person is anyone.”Phil Hartman On the Simpsons, Lionel Hutz
“Lionel: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Schneider.Marge: Is that bad?Lionel: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.Marge: You did?Lionel: Yeah…if you replace the word "kinda" with "repeatedly" and the word "dog" with "son"…”Phil Hartman On the Simpsons, Lionel Hutz