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P.G. Wodehouse Quotes
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Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was an English author and one of the most widely read humorists of the 20th century. Born in Guildford, the third son of a British magistrate based in Hong Kong, Wodehouse spent happy teenage years at Dulwich College, to which he remained devoted all his life. After leaving school, he was employed by a bank but disliked the work and turned to writing in his spare time. His early novels were mostly school stories, but he later switched to comic fiction, creating several regular characters who became familiar to the public over the years. They include the jolly gentleman of leisure Bertie Wooster and his sagacious valet Jeeves; the immaculate and loquacious Psmith; Lord Emsworth and the Blandings Castle set; the Oldest Member, with stories about golf; and Mr. Mulliner, with tall tales on subjects ranging from bibulous bishops to megalomaniac movie moguls.

Most of Wodehouse's fiction is set in England, although he spent much of his life in the US and used New York and Hollywood as settings for some of his novels and short stories. He wrote a series of Broadway musical comedies during and after the First World War, together with Guy Bolton and Jerome Kern, that played an important part in the development of the American musical. He began the 1930s writing for MGM in Hollywood. In a 1931 interview, his naïve revelations of incompetence and extravagance in the studios caused a furore. In the same decade, his literary career reached a new peak.

In 1934 Wodehouse moved to France for tax reasons; in 1940 he was taken prisoner at Le Touquet by the invading Germans and interned for nearly a year. After his release he made six broadcasts from German radio in Berlin to the US, which had not yet entered the war. The talks were comic and apolitical, but his broadcasting over enemy radio prompted anger and strident controversy in Britain, and a threat of prosecution. Wodehouse never returned to England. From 1947 until his death he lived in the US, taking dual British-American citizenship in 1955. He was a prolific writer throughout his life, publishing more than ninety books, forty plays, two hundred short stories and other writings between 1902 and 1974. He died in 1975, at the age of 93, in Southampton, New York.

Wodehouse worked extensively on his books, sometimes having two or more in preparation simultaneously. He would take up to two years to build a plot and write a scenario of about thirty thousand words. After the scenario was complete he would write the story. Early in his career he would produce a novel in about three months, but he slowed in old age to around six months. He used a mixture of Edwardian slang, quotations from and allusions to numerous poets, and several literary techniques to produce a prose style that has been compared to comic poetry and musical comedy. Some critics of Wodehouse have considered his work flippant, but among his fans are former British prime ministers and many of his fellow writers. Wikipedia  

✵ 15. October 1881 – 14. February 1975  •  Other names పి. జి. వుడ్‌హౌస్
P.G. Wodehouse photo
P.G. Wodehouse: 302 quotes16 likes

P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

“As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Inimitable Jeeves

The Inimitable Jeeves (1923)

“As plainly as if it had been the top line on the oculist’s chart I could see what the future held for Bertram.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit

Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit (1954)

“There came from without the hoof-beats of a galloping relative and Aunt Dahlia whizzed in.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Code of the Woosters

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

“He was not a man who prattled readily, especially in a foreign tongue. He gave the impression that each word was excavated from his interior by some up-to-date process of mining.”

P.G. Wodehouse

The Clicking Of Cuthbert (1922)

“Scarcely had I entered the sitting-room when I found … what appeared at first sight to be the Devil, A closer scrutiny informed me that it was Gussie Fink-Nottle, dressed as Mephistopheles.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“Jeeves lugged my purple socks out of the drawer as if he were a vegetarian fishing a caterpillar out of his salad.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Inimitable Jeeves

The Inimitable Jeeves (1923)

“If Eggy wanted to get spliced, let him, was the way I looked at it. Marriage might improve him. It was difficult to think of anything that wouldn’t.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Laughing Gas

Laughing Gas (1936)

“"Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary," murmured Psmith. (Earlier usage of the precise words "Elementary, my dear Watson" has been found in the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.)”

P.G. Wodehouse book Psmith, Journalist

Psmith, Journalist (1915)

“It was a cold, disapproving gaze, such as a fastidious luncher who was not fond of caterpillars might have directed at one which he had discovered in his portion of salad…”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Adventures of Sally

The Adventures of Sally (1922)

“Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Sunset at Blandings

Sunset at Blandings (1977 (posthumously published))

“In build and appearance, Tuppy somewhat resembles a bulldog, and his aspect now was that of one of these fine animals who has just been refused a slice of cake.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“It seemed to me, thinking quick, that the only way of solving the am-parce [impasse] was to sacrifice Shorty. Like Russian peasants with their children, you know, when they are pursued by wolves and it becomes imperative to lighten the sledge.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Spring Fever

Spring Fever (1948)

“It just showed once again that half the world doesn’t know how the other three quarters live.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Much Obliged, Jeeves

Much Obliged, Jeeves (1971)

“You must remember, Father,’ said Mavis, in a voice which would have had an Eskimo slapping his ribs and calling for the steam-heat, ‘that this girl was probably very pretty. So many of these New York girls are. That would, of course, explain Frederick's behaviour.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Young Men in Spats

Young Men in Spats (1936)

“Whatever may be said in favour of the Victorians, it is pretty generally admitted that few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Summer Moonshine

Summer Moonshine (1938)

“I hate you, I hate you!' cried Madeline, a thing I didn't know anyone ever said except in the second act of a musical comedy.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves (1963)

“Oh Brancepeth,’ said the girl, her voice trembling, ‘why haven’t you any money? If only you had the merest pittance - enough for a flat in Mayfair and a little weekend place in the country somewhere and a couple of good cars and a villa in the South of France and a bit of trout fishing on some decent river, I would risk all for love.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Lord Emsworth and Others

Lord Emsworth and Others (1937)

“He had never acted in his life, and couldn't play the pin in Pinafore.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Luck of the Bodkins

The Luck of the Bodkins (1935)

“Yes, sir,' said Jeeves in a low, cold voice, as if he had been bitten in the leg by a personal friend.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Carry On, Jeeves

Carry On, Jeeves (1925)

“Aunt Agatha, who eats broken bottles and wears barbed wire next to the skin.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Code of the Woosters

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.' (quoting John Greenleaf Whittier)”

P.G. Wodehouse

The Man Upstairs (1914)

“Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Cocktail Time

Cocktail Time (1958)

“I remember when I was a kid at school having to learn a poem of sorts about a fellow named Pig-something--a sculptor he would have been, no doubt--who made a statue of a girl, and what should happen one morning but that the bally thing suddenly came to life. A pretty nasty shock for the chap, of course.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“As is so often the case with butlers, there was a good deal of Beach. Julius Caesar, who liked to have men about him who were fat, would have taken to him at once. He was a man who had made two chins grow where only one had been before, and his waistcoat swelled like the sail of a racing yacht.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Galahad at Blandings

Galahad at Blandings (1965)

“I suppose this was really the moment for embarking upon an impassioned defence of Boko, stressing his admirable qualities. Not being able to think of any, however, I remained silent.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Joy in the Morning

Joy in the Morning (1947)

“Aunt Agatha is like an elephant—not so much to look at, for in appearance she resembles more a well-bred vulture, but because she never forgets.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Joy in the Morning

Joy in the Morning (1947)

“I don’t suppose she would recognize a deep, beautiful thought if you handed it to her on a skewer with tartare sauce.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Code of the Woosters

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

“He then gave a hideous laugh and added that, if anybody was interested in his plans, he was going to join the Foreign Legion, that cohort of the damned in which broken men may toil and die and dying, forget. ‘Beau Widgeon?’ said the Egg, impressed. ‘What ho!”

P.G. Wodehouse book Young Men in Spats

Young Men in Spats (1936)

“The fellow with a face rather like a walnut.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“Though never for an instant faltering in my opinion that Augustus Fink-Nottle was Nature's final word in cloth-headed guffins, I liked the man, wished him well.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“When news had reached me through well-informed channels that my Aunt Agatha for many years a widow, or derelict, as I believed it is called, was about to take another pop at matrimony, my first emotion, as was natural in the circumstances, had been a gentle pity for the unfortunate goop slated to step up the aisle with her - she, as you are aware, being my tough aunt, the one who eats broken bottles and conducts human sacrifices by the light of the full moon.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Joy in the Morning

Joy in the Morning (1947)

“There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“So was victory turned into defeat, and Billy's jaw became squarer and his eye more full of the light of battle than ever.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Psmith, Journalist

Psmith, Journalist (1915)

“I wouldn't have said off-hand that I had a subconscious mind, but I suppose I must without knowing it, and no doubt it was there, sweating away diligently at the old stand, all the while the corporeal Wooster was getting his eight hours.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“There are girls, few perhaps but to be found if one searches carefully, who when their advice is ignored and disaster ensues, do not say "I told you so."”

P.G. Wodehouse book Pearls, Girls and Monty Bodkin

Mavis was not of their number.
Pearls, Girls and Monty Bodkin (1972)

“This done, he felt a little—not much, but a little—better. Before, he would have gladly murdered Beach and James and danced on their graves. Now, he would have been satisfied with straight murder.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Summer Lightning

Summer Lightning (1929)

“Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Adventures of Sally

The Adventures of Sally (1922)

“I charged into something which might have been a tree, but was not--being, in point of fact, Jeeves.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanour was now rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Inimitable Jeeves

The Inimitable Jeeves (1923)

“I started back to the house, and in the drive I met Jeeves. He was at the wheel of Stiffy's car. Beside him, looking like a Scotch elder rebuking sin, was the dog Bartholomew.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves (1963)

“The stationmaster’s whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Uncle Dynamite

Uncle Dynamite (1948)

“It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Ring for Jeeves

Ring for Jeeves (1953)

“Whenever I meet Ukridge’s Aunt Julia I have the same curious illusion of having just committed some particularly unsavoury crime and—what is more—of having done it with swollen hands, enlarged feet, and trousers bagging at the knee on a morning when I had omitted to shave.”

P.G. Wodehouse

Ukridge (1924)

“Besides, isn't there something in the book of rules about a man may not marry his cousin? Or am I thinking of grandmothers?”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“Do you know,’ said a thoughtful Bean, ‘I’ll bet that if all the girls Freddie Widgeon has loved were placed end to end—not that I suppose one could do it—they would reach half-way down Piccadilly.’
‘Further than that,’ said the Egg. ‘Some of them were pretty tall.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Young Men in Spats

Young Men in Spats (1936)

“A man, to use an old-fashioned phrase, of some twenty-eight summers, he gave the impression at the moment of having experienced at least that number of very hard winters.”

P.G. Wodehouse book A Pelican at Blandings

A Pelican at Blandings (1969)

“You know your Shelley, Bertie!’
‘Oh, am I?”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Code of the Woosters

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

“Oh, Bertie, if I ever called you a brainless poop who ought to be given a scholarship at some lunatic asylum, I take back the words.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit

Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit (1954)