P.G. Wodehouse: Trending quotes

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P.G. Wodehouse: 604 quotes16 likes

“We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“His was a life which lacked, perhaps, the sublimer emotions which raised Man to the level of the gods, but it was undeniably an extremely happy one. He never experienced the thrill of ambition fulfilled, but, on the other hand, he never knew the agony of ambition frustrated. His name, when he died, would not live for ever in England's annals; he was spared the pain of worrying about this by the fact that he had no desire to live for ever in England's annals. He was possibly as nearly contented a human being can be in this century of alarms and excursions.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Something Fresh

Something Fresh (1915)

“In one second, without any previous training or upbringing, he had become the wettest man in Worcestershire.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Very Good, Jeeves

Very Good, Jeeves (1930)

“Stiffy was one of those girls who enjoy in equal quantities the gall of an army mule and the calm insouciance of a fish on a slab of ice.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Code of the Woosters

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

“She had a beaky nose, tight thin lips, and her eye could have been used for splitting logs in the teak forests of Borneo.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Much Obliged, Jeeves

Much Obliged, Jeeves (1971)

“And a moment later there was a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and the relative had crossed the threshold at fifty m. p. h. under her own steam.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“Bingo swayed like a jelly in a high wind.”

P.G. Wodehouse

Eggs, Beans and Crumpets (1940)

“He had been looking like a dead fish. He now looked like a deader fish, one of last year's, cast up on some lonely beach and left there at the mercy of the wind and tides.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“For some moments after silence had come like a poultice to heal the blows of sound, all that occupied his mind was the thought of what pests the gentler sex were when they got hold of a telephone. The instrument seemed to go to their heads like a drug. Connie Keeble, for instance. Nice sensible woman when you talked to her face to face, never tried to collar the conversation and all that, but the moment she got on the telephone, it was gab, gab, gab, and all about nothing.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Pigs Have Wings

Pigs Have Wings (1952)

“And, anyway, no matter how much you may behave like the deaf adder of Scripture which, as you are doubtless aware, the more one piped, the less it danced, or words to that effect, I shall carry on as planned.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“He committed mayhem upon his person. He did everything to him that a man can do who is hampered with boxing gloves.”

P.G. Wodehouse

Ukridge (1924)

“Directing an austere look at Tubby’s receding back, she spoke in a cold crisp voice which sounded in the drowsy stillness like ice tinkling in a pitcher.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Summer Moonshine

Summer Moonshine (1938)

“Dedication: To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time.”

P.G. Wodehouse

The Heart of a Goof (1926)

“And shove him into a dungeon with dripping walls and see to it that he is well gnawed by rats.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves (1963)

“It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.”

P.G. Wodehouse

Blandings Castle (1935)

“Don't you like this hat?‘
‘No, sir.‘
‘Well, I do,‘ I replied rather cleverly, and went out with it tilted just that merest shade over the left eye which makes all the difference.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves (1963)

“I was reading in the paper the other day about those birds who are trying to split the atom, the nub being that they haven't the foggiest as to what will happen if they do. It may be all right. On the other hand, it may not be all right. And pretty silly a chap would feel, no doubt, if, having split the atom, he suddenly found the house going up in smoke and himself torn limb from limb.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“And as he, too, seemed disinclined for chit-chat, we stood for some moments like a couple of Trappist monks who have run into each other at the dog races.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit

Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit (1954)

“Beginning with a critique of my own limbs, which she said, justly enough, were nothing to write home about, this girl went on to dissect my manners, morals, intellect, general physique, and method of eating asparagus with such acerbity that by the time she had finished the best you could say of Bertram was that, so far as was known, he had never actually committed murder or set fire to an orphan asylum.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn’t detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth.”

P.G. Wodehouse

The Man with Two Left Feet (1917)