P.G. Wodehouse: Trending quotes

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P.G. Wodehouse: 604 quotes16 likes

“Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Cocktail Time

Cocktail Time (1958)

“I remember when I was a kid at school having to learn a poem of sorts about a fellow named Pig-something--a sculptor he would have been, no doubt--who made a statue of a girl, and what should happen one morning but that the bally thing suddenly came to life. A pretty nasty shock for the chap, of course.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“As is so often the case with butlers, there was a good deal of Beach. Julius Caesar, who liked to have men about him who were fat, would have taken to him at once. He was a man who had made two chins grow where only one had been before, and his waistcoat swelled like the sail of a racing yacht.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Galahad at Blandings

Galahad at Blandings (1965)

“I suppose this was really the moment for embarking upon an impassioned defence of Boko, stressing his admirable qualities. Not being able to think of any, however, I remained silent.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Joy in the Morning

Joy in the Morning (1947)

“Aunt Agatha is like an elephant—not so much to look at, for in appearance she resembles more a well-bred vulture, but because she never forgets.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Joy in the Morning

Joy in the Morning (1947)

“I don’t suppose she would recognize a deep, beautiful thought if you handed it to her on a skewer with tartare sauce.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Code of the Woosters

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

“He then gave a hideous laugh and added that, if anybody was interested in his plans, he was going to join the Foreign Legion, that cohort of the damned in which broken men may toil and die and dying, forget. ‘Beau Widgeon?’ said the Egg, impressed. ‘What ho!”

P.G. Wodehouse book Young Men in Spats

Young Men in Spats (1936)

“The fellow with a face rather like a walnut.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“Though never for an instant faltering in my opinion that Augustus Fink-Nottle was Nature's final word in cloth-headed guffins, I liked the man, wished him well.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“When news had reached me through well-informed channels that my Aunt Agatha for many years a widow, or derelict, as I believed it is called, was about to take another pop at matrimony, my first emotion, as was natural in the circumstances, had been a gentle pity for the unfortunate goop slated to step up the aisle with her - she, as you are aware, being my tough aunt, the one who eats broken bottles and conducts human sacrifices by the light of the full moon.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Joy in the Morning

Joy in the Morning (1947)

“There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“So was victory turned into defeat, and Billy's jaw became squarer and his eye more full of the light of battle than ever.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Psmith, Journalist

Psmith, Journalist (1915)

“I wouldn't have said off-hand that I had a subconscious mind, but I suppose I must without knowing it, and no doubt it was there, sweating away diligently at the old stand, all the while the corporeal Wooster was getting his eight hours.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“There are girls, few perhaps but to be found if one searches carefully, who when their advice is ignored and disaster ensues, do not say "I told you so."”

P.G. Wodehouse book Pearls, Girls and Monty Bodkin

Mavis was not of their number.
Pearls, Girls and Monty Bodkin (1972)

“This done, he felt a little—not much, but a little—better. Before, he would have gladly murdered Beach and James and danced on their graves. Now, he would have been satisfied with straight murder.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Summer Lightning

Summer Lightning (1929)

“Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Adventures of Sally

The Adventures of Sally (1922)

“I charged into something which might have been a tree, but was not--being, in point of fact, Jeeves.”

P.G. Wodehouse book Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

“I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanour was now rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back.”

P.G. Wodehouse book The Inimitable Jeeves

The Inimitable Jeeves (1923)