Patton Oswalt Quotes (8 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

Patton Oswalt: 8 quotes 0 likes

Famous Patton Oswalt Quotes

“I was thinking the other day about a time machine…and the first thing I thought of doing if I actually had a time machine, is that I would go back in time to about 1993 or '94, and kill George Lucas with a shovel.”

Patton Oswalt

Werewolves and Lollipops (2007)

“[on KFC's Famous Bowls] I just want kind of a light brown hillock of glop. If you could put my lunch in a blender, and liquefy it, and then put it into a caulking gun and inject it right into my femoral artery, even better! But until you invent a lunch gun, I would like a failure pile in a sadness bowl!”

Patton Oswalt

Werewolves and Lollipops (2007)

“If they’ve really caught the #GoldenStateKiller I hope I get to visit him. Not to gloat or gawk — to ask him the questions that @TrueCrimeDiary wanted answered in her “Letter To An Old Man” at the end of #IllBeGoneInTheDark.”

Patton Oswalt

25 April 2018 tweet https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/989124477530320896

“My dong is super-friendly and loves getting rubbed by children. #CareerEndingTwitterTypos”

Patton Oswalt

4 November 2013 tweet https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/397417761204224000

“If the standard for being impeached is 'getting a blowjob' or 'covering up a burglary', then shouldn't Bush have been executed by now?”

Patton Oswalt

Werewolves and Lollipops (2007)

“If another one of my Whole-Foods friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet.”

Patton Oswalt

My Weakness Is Strong (2009)

“The angry "@" tweets from my hammer toed followers opened my eyes. "Pedo-phobe" shaming hurts us all. I am a PROUD pedophile!”

Patton Oswalt

9 July 2013 tweet https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/354640013004259328 on Twitter ( archived http://archive.is/pHDAR)

“In this age of cynicism, bipartisanship and personal cowardice, it’s refreshing to find a group of people willing to die for what they believe.”

Patton Oswalt

On "Giantess erotica" written by men who have a fantasy of being crushed by large women, as quoted by James Warner in Periodicals of Yesteryear: the Last Issue of The Nose http://www.identitytheory.com/periodicals-of-yesteryear-the-last-issue-of-the-nose/, IdentityTheory.com, April 19, 2009