Joss Whedon Quotes

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“Okay, uh, I'm lost. I'm angry. And I'm armed.”

“So, no more running. I aim to misbehave.”

“My soul is wrapped in harsh repose,
Midnight descends in raven-colored clothes,
But soft… behold!
A sunlight beam
Butting a swath of glimmering gleam.
My heart expands,
'tis grown a bulge in it,
Inspired by your beauty…
Effulgent.”

“You are talking crazy-person talk. Put your words in word places please.”

“I mean, I knew I wasn't a nice person, but what did I do in my past life to deserve this? I must have hit a bus full of nuns while driving a stolen car on my way to selling drugs to schoolchildren!”

“What's plan b?'
'We all die now.'
'What's plan c?”

“Whatever makes you weird, is probably your greatest asset.”

“When Roseanne read the first script of mine that got into her hands without being edited by someone else she said, 'How can you write a middle-aged woman this well?' I said, 'If you met my mom you wouldn't ask'.”

“Misogyny… is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who is confronted with it.”

“Love is for children. I owe him a debt.”

“To read makes our speaking English good.”

“Do you love me?
What?
Do you?
I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Maybe you shouldn't do either.
Maybe I'm the one who should decide!”

“How do you know your Colossus is the genuine article in the first place?

I read his mind.

I matched his DNA.

I smelled him.

I also did that.”

“Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.”

“Back in my day, which was about a week and a half ago, we took our lumps and we got back up and we cried like babies and quit and then put on weight.”

“You think we're dancing?"

"That's all we've ever done.”

“Because to me, there is no logic of any kind behind misogyny. Therefore, it’s funny, because it’s so completely random to me. It’s senseless.”

“How did you find me here?
If I was blind, I would see you.
Stay with me.
Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.”

“I leave the world in terrible turmoil. I come back, same turmoil. Nothing at all different. Well, outfits are a little different…”

“If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.”

“Life's a show and we all play a part
And when the music starts
We open up our hearts”

“The greatest expression of rebellion is joy.”

“SENTINEL: Is dead Buffy actually a robot?”

“The actors can make up their dialogue. I'm bushed, and they're all funny, and the hell with it. Maybe I'll give them a premise to work off of, like "You're all in trouble" or "Wash has a thing."”

“You can either watch TV or you can make TV.”

“I know there's been some debate about the DVD art. Just remember it's what's INside that counts, as I used to remind girls in high school constantly. CONSTANTLY — until I realized that I was empty inside. Empty and homely. Man, that's a rough combo.”

“I believe we are the only sentient beings in the universe, and I believe that 500 years from now, we will still be the only sentient beings around. … Aliens are something everyone else is doing.”

“The network called up and said 'We piggybacked you on the deal for another show,' I'm like 'Okay, so what you're saying to my writers is that they weren't picked up when they thought they were and now that they are it was because of something that has nothing to do with them. Okay. Great. Stop calling.”

“Let freedom ring, unless it's on vibrate.”

“Joss: Um, no. Dead Buffy's a Buffy. But a dead one.”

“I'm working on Buffy: Deep Space Nine. It will be dark and badly received.”

“Stay crunchy, even in milk.”

“People with real power never fear of losing it. People with control think of little else.”

“I have had a dream my whole life… and it was not this good.”

“My visions of the future are always pretty much standard issue. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer… and there are flying cars.”

“Hello, I'm the writer and director. Now take your clothes off and get on top of Morena.”

“There is nothing more painful in the world than Aly when she makes her big eyes. She makes her big hurt eyes, there's nothing you can do. She just kills you.”

“If I ever did a rom-com, it'd be about an orgy. I cannot do anything except ensemble-pieces. It's awful!”

“Veronica solves little puzzles because she, like all of us, cannot unravel the bigger ones.”

“Get out of my BRAIN!”

“The English Language is my bitch. Or I don't speak it very well. Whatever.”