Josh Billings: Man

Josh Billings was American humorist. Explore interesting quotes on man.

Josh Billings: 182 quotes5 likes

“Marrying for buty iz a poor spekulashun, for enny man who sees yure wife, has got just about az mutch stock in her as yu have.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I don't kno az i want tew bet enny money, and giv odds, on the man, who iz alwus anxious tew pray out loud, every chance he kan git.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“A man's reputashun iz something like hiz coat, thare iz certain kemikals that will take the stains and grease spots out ov it, but it alwus haz a second-handed kind ov a look, and generally smells strong ov the kemikals.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Yung man, don't grind yure scythe all on one side!”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I wouldn't undertake tew korrekt a mans sektarian views enny quicker than i would tell him which road tew take at a 4 corners, when i didn't know miself which waz the right one.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Natur duz awl her big and little jobs without making enny furse; the earth goes around the sun, the moon changes, the eklipses, and the pollywog, silently and taillessly, bekums a frog, but man kant even deliver a small-sized 4th ov July orashun without knocking down a mountain or two, and tareing up three or four primeval forests by the bleeding rutes.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Pedantry iz the science ov investing what little yu know in one kind ov perfumery, and insisting upon sticking that under every man's knose whom you meet.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Thare iz a grate deal ov charity in this world so koldly rendered that it fairly hurts, it iz like lifting a drowning man out ov the water bi the hair ov the hed, and then letting him drop on the ground.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Every man should kno sumthing ov law--if he knows enuff tew keep out ov it, he iz a prety good lawyer.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)