Josh Billings: Trending quotes

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Josh Billings: 182 quotes5 likes

“Mankind loves misterys--a hole in the ground, excites mor wonder than a star in the heavens.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Pedantry iz the science ov investing what little yu know in one kind ov perfumery, and insisting upon sticking that under every man's knose whom you meet.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I hate grate talkers; i had rather hav a swarm of bees lite onto me.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Thare iz a grate deal ov charity in this world so koldly rendered that it fairly hurts, it iz like lifting a drowning man out ov the water bi the hair ov the hed, and then letting him drop on the ground.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Every man should kno sumthing ov law--if he knows enuff tew keep out ov it, he iz a prety good lawyer.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Take awl the prophecys that hav cum tew pass, and awl that hav caught on the center, and failed tew cum tew time, and make them up in an average, and yer will find, that buying stock, on the Codfish Bank ov Nufoundland, at 50 per cent, for a rise, iz, in comparison, a good spekulatiff bizziness.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Menny people spend their time trieing tew find the hole whare sin got into this world--if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole tew git out, rather than git into a long argument about the hole they cum tew fall in.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.”

“Familiarity breeds kontempt.”

This only applies tew men, not tew hot bukwheat slapkakes, well buttered and sugared.
Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”

Source: Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873), p. 235 https://books.google.com/books?id=HJUIXmDzqPcC&pg=PA235