Josh Billings: Trending quotes (page 5)

“Pedantry iz the science ov investing what little yu know in one kind ov perfumery, and insisting upon sticking that under every man's knose whom you meet.”

“I hate grate talkers; i had rather hav a swarm of bees lite onto me.”

“As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.”

“Thare iz a grate deal ov charity in this world so koldly rendered that it fairly hurts, it iz like lifting a drowning man out ov the water bi the hair ov the hed, and then letting him drop on the ground.”

“Every man should kno sumthing ov law--if he knows enuff tew keep out ov it, he iz a prety good lawyer.”

“Take awl the prophecys that hav cum tew pass, and awl that hav caught on the center, and failed tew cum tew time, and make them up in an average, and yer will find, that buying stock, on the Codfish Bank ov Nufoundland, at 50 per cent, for a rise, iz, in comparison, a good spekulatiff bizziness.”

“Menny people spend their time trieing tew find the hole whare sin got into this world--if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole tew git out, rather than git into a long argument about the hole they cum tew fall in.”

“Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.”

“Familiarity breeds kontempt.”

“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”