Josh Billings: Trending quotes

Josh Billings trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Josh Billings: 182 quotes5 likes

“I don't kno az i want tew bet enny money, and giv odds, on the man, who iz alwus anxious tew pray out loud, every chance he kan git.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Nature never makes blunders; when she makes a fool she means it.”

Josh Billings

Affurisms. From Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865)

“Thare iz sich a thing az being alwus too quick--i am one ov that kind miself, i alwus miss a rale rode train bi being thare a haff an our too soon.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“A man's reputashun iz something like hiz coat, thare iz certain kemikals that will take the stains and grease spots out ov it, but it alwus haz a second-handed kind ov a look, and generally smells strong ov the kemikals.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Yung man, don't grind yure scythe all on one side!”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I had rather be a pot-bellied seed cowcumber, flung carelessly on a wood pile to ripen, than tew be an old bachelor.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Thare iz but phew people in this world underrated.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Don't mistake vivacity for wit, thare iz about az mutch difference az thare iz between lightning and a lightning bug.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings' Old Farmer's Allminax, "January 1871" http://books.google.com/books?id=sUI1AAAAMAAJ&q=%22Don't+mistake+vivacity+for+wit+thare+iz+about+az+mutch+difference+az+thare+iz+between+lightning+and+a+lightning+bug%22&pg=PT30#v=onepage (1870)

“I wouldn't undertake tew korrekt a mans sektarian views enny quicker than i would tell him which road tew take at a 4 corners, when i didn't know miself which waz the right one.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I kno plenty ov folks who are so kondem kontrary, that if they should fall into the river, they would insist uopon floating up stream.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I am poor, and I am glad that i am, for i find that wealth makes more people mean than it duz generous.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I honestly beleave it iz better tew know nothing than two know what ain't so.”

Josh Billings

&quot; Sollum Thoughts http://books.google.com/books?id=7rA8AAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22tew+know+nothing%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22tew%20know%20nothing%22&amp;f=false&quot;. in Everybody&#x27;s Friend: Josh Billing&#x27;s Encyclopedia &amp; Proverbial Philosophy of Wit &amp; Humor (1874) <br class="br">Variant: <br class="br">I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain&#x27;t so. <br class="br">Variant: I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain&#x27;t so.

“Giv every one you meet, my boy, the time ov day and halff the road, and if that dont make him civil dont waste enny more fragrance on the cuss.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Thare iz this mutch kan be sed in favour ov good-breeding, it iz the only thing that kan make a phool endurable.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Genuine grief iz like penitence, not klamorous but subdued; sorrow from the hous tops and penitence in a market place shows more ambishun than piety.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“About one haff the pitty in this world iz not the result ov sorrow, but satisfackshun that it aint our hoss that haz had hiz leg broke.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“There iz only one good substitute for the endearments ov a sister, and that iz the endearments ov sum other pheller's sister.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Natur duz awl her big and little jobs without making enny furse; the earth goes around the sun, the moon changes, the eklipses, and the pollywog, silently and taillessly, bekums a frog, but man kant even deliver a small-sized 4th ov July orashun without knocking down a mountain or two, and tareing up three or four primeval forests by the bleeding rutes.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided—it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.”

Josh Billings

Affurisms. From Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865)

“Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, But four times he who gets his blow in fust”

Josh Billings

Affurisms. From Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865)