Josh Billings: Trending quotes

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Josh Billings: 182 quotes5 likes

“When a man gits tew talking about himself, he seldum fails tew be eloquent, and often reaches the sublime.”

Josh Billings

Affurisms. From Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865)

“Misanthropy don't pay--thare aint no man living whoze hate the world cares one cuss for.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“When a doktor looks me square in the face and kant see no money in me, then i am happy.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Truth dont require the aid ov elegant and high stepping words, tew express its force, or buty, it iz like water, tastes better out ov a wooden bucket, than it duz out ov a golden goblet.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I hav often heard ov men who had bekum disgusted with the world, and retired into solitude; but i hav never heard ov a kommitty ov our fust citizens waiting on them and asking them tew kum bak.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“If thare iz enny human being that i thoroughly loath, it iz the one who haz nothing tew boast ov but hiz money--a mere pimp tew hiz welth.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“The wealth ov a person should be estimated, not bi the amount he haz, but bi the use he makes ov it.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“The hardest thing that enny man kan do iz tew fall down on the ice when it iz wet, and get up and praze the Lord.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“When i see a poor, and proud aristokrat, purtiklar about punktillio, he alwus puts me in mind ov a drunken man, trieing tew walk a crack.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Ventilashun iz a good thing, but when a man kant lay down and sleep in a 10 aker lot without taking down two lengths ov fence to let the wind in he iz alltogether too airish.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Them folks who are sudden, aint apt tew be solid; lively streams are alwus shallow.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I don't suppoze thare haz ever lived a man without a single virtew. Even Judas Iskariot "went and hanged himself."”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“If we would all ov us take kare ov our own souls, and let our nabors alone, thare would be less time lost, and more souls saved.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“"Familiarity breeds kontempt." This only applies tew men, not tew hot bukwheat slapkakes, well buttered and sugared.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“The man who pitys everyboddy, wants watching, for the chances are that he iz gitting phatt slily on other peoples misfortunes.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“If I had 4 fust rate dogs i would name the best one "Doubtful" and the other 3 "Useless."”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I don't beleaf in bad luck being sot for a man, like a trap, but i hav known lots ov folks, who if thare waz enny fust rate bad luck lieing around loose, would be sure tew git one foot in it enny how.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“I hav studdyed mi own karakter, and mi own impulses for 39 years clussly, and i kant tell to day (to save a bet) whether i am an honest and trew man or not--if thare iz enny boddy who knows about this matter i wish they would address me a letter, enklosing a postage blister.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Rather than not hav faith in enny thing, i am willing tew be beat 9 times out ov 10.”

Josh Billings

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

“Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.”

Josh Billings

Affurisms. From Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865)