Fiona Apple: Doing

“I definitely had an eating disorder. What was really frustrating for me was that everyone thought I was anorexic, and I wasn't. I was really depressed and self-loathing. For me, it wasn't about being thin, it was about getting rid of the bait attached to my body. A lot of it came from the self-loathing that came from being raped at the point of developing my voluptuousness. I just thought that if you had a body and if you had anything on you that would be grabbed, it would be grabbed. So I did purposely get rid of it…I mean, my plan is to gain enough weight that I can really be considered voluptuous, and do my 'First Taste' video. And I am preparing myself for what is going to happen. Because soon they will be saying that I'm fat. And it will hurt me.”

Fiona Apple

Rolling Stone, "The Caged Bird Sings" January [1998]

Hurt

“Do I wanna do right, of course
but do I really wanna feel I’m forced
to answer you, hell no.
I’ve acquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake,
I wanna make a mistake.”

Fiona Apple

A Mistake
Song lyrics, When the Pawn… (1999)

Feeling , Hell

“If you don't have a date
Celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn
And do nothing
'Cause it's just what you must do
Nobody does it anymore.”

Fiona Apple

Waltz (Better Than Fine)
Song lyrics, Extraordinary Machine (2005)

“Interviewer: I read a post on the Internet from a young girl who had been victimized by someone and her position was like, "I can talk about this now because Fiona Apple can talk about what happened to her." Do you look at yourself as a role model for women and girls who've had this experience?
Fiona: That's the only reason I ever brought the whole rape thing up. It's a terrible thing, but it happens to so many people. I mean, 80 percent of the people I've told have said right back to me, "That happened to me too." It's so common, and so ridiculous that it's a hard thing to talk about. It angers me so much because something like that happens to you and you carry it around for the rest of your life. No matter how much therapy you go through, no matter how much healing you go through, it's part of you. I just feel that it's such a tragedy that so many people have to bear the extra burden of having to keep it secret from everyone else. As if it's too icky a subject to burden other people with and everyone's going to think you're a victim forever. Then you've labeled yourself a victim, and you've been taken advantage of, and you're ruined, and you're soiled, and you're not pure, you know.If I'm in a position where people are looking up to me in any way, then it's absolutely my responsibility to be open and honest about this, because if I'm not, what does that say to people? It doesn't change a person -- well, it does change a person but it doesn't take anything away from you. It can only strengthen you. It has made me so angry in the past. Like I wanted to say it to somebody. I really wanted somebody to connect with, somebody to understand me, somebody to comfort me. But I felt like I couldn't say anything about because it was taboo to talk about.”

Fiona Apple

Nuvo, "Fiona Apple: The NUVO Interview" April [1997]

Life , Women , People , Secret

“Oh, it's evil babe
The way you let your grace enrapture me,
When well you know I'd be insane
To ever let that dirty game recapture me.You made me a shadowboxer, baby.
I wanna be ready for what you do.
I been swinging all around me
'Cause I don't know when you're gonna make your move.”

Fiona Apple

Shadowboxer
Song lyrics, Tidal (1996)

Way , Game , Evil , Baby

“My derring-do allows me to
Dance the rigadoon around you.
But by the time I'm close to you,
I lose my desideratum and now you.”

Fiona Apple

To Your Love
Song lyrics, When the Pawn… (1999)

Time , Dance