Dylan Moran: Trending quotes (page 3)

Dylan Moran trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Dylan Moran: 240   quotes 1   like

“I'm waiting 'til they get all this kit in one six by three inch lump of metal and you just stick it up your arse and it does everything for you. You get music all the time, everything's in vivid colour, your taste and all your hearing is enhanced, and you never have to do anything ever again. You can stay in bed and just live in this vortex of sensation.”

Dylan Moran

on being asked by Jonathan Ross about modern technology
Other

Music , Time , Waiting

“Because that's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed fuckers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!”

Dylan Moran

Which is only half true!
On prejudices about Irish people.
Like, Totally (2006)

People , World , Painting , Housing

“You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.”

Dylan Moran

Like, Totally (2006)

Stupidity

“I am actually walking towards the biscuit, I didn't realise I was, but now I do, oh oh oh I am actually eating the biscuit…oh no, oh the shame, oh I don't know what's better, THE BISCUIT OR THE SHAME.. oh oh the shame.”

Dylan Moran

On Catholicism.
Like, Totally (2006)

“Where is the cake? Cake is the language of love. I don't see any cakes in the building. You know, people say that to you: "I love you, I love you!"”

Dylan Moran

Yeah? Gimme a fuckin' eclair.
What It Is (2009)

Love , People

“EGGS! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!”

Dylan Moran

Monster (2004)

Food , Clothes

“This is from my granny. She was a beautiful, spiritual person. She always used to say: "Doesn't matter how big the fucker is. They all have a neck." Another thing she used to say was: "Never get involved with more than 11 people sexually at one time. You cannot keep everybody happy. Work on the farm deteriorates almost immediately. Don’t do that."”

Dylan Moran

Yeah, Yeah (2011)

People , Beauty , Time , Personality

“You’re never going to go. Why would you go? It’s a disgusting place. It’s always wet even when it’s dry. There’s nothing there. Farmers aren’t really people, you know this. They’re just necessary, we need somebody to kill cows.”

Dylan Moran

Like, Totally (2006)

People

“I know what you're thinking!”

Dylan Moran

Oh do you? So do I. I know what everyone’s thinking: I'd like to be lying face down in a cushion, with my mouth full of chocolate, and something lovely happening to my lower half. Would you like your prize now, or later?
What It Is (2009)

Thinking

“You're looking for a lump in a bag of lumps, that can take some time”

Dylan Moran

On testicular cancer.
Monster (2004)

Time

“It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette… unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.”

Dylan Moran

On laws in Ireland prohibiting smoking in buildings where people work.
Monster (2004)

Light

“(after coughing) I have… something. It'll clear up. Might take me with it, but we'll see.”

Dylan Moran

Like, Totally
Other

“It sounds like typewriters eating tin foil being kicked down the stairs.”

Dylan Moran

On the German language.
Like, Totally (2006)

“That’s why adults are confused a lot of the time. Adults are terribly confused, messed up people. That’s because they forget, really, that they don’t have to pretend all the time. Really, the fact is that you’re not an adult at all - you’re just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don’t understand… "The Middle East? Yeah, I know it was really bad. I wouldn’t have done that. A hysterectomy? Yeah, very painful, the shoulder is a very painful area."”

Dylan Moran

On adults.
Like, Totally (2006)

Pain , People , Beer , Understanding

“99,9% of men are convinced that they have to live silently, with a bitter irony of the twist of fate, that means, nobody knows they're really a spy. And an amazing guitarist. Men give serious time and thought on "How would I deal with, if the rocket came down of that alley right now? Yeah, I'd handle that situation pretty well!" A spy who plays guitar at night! I basically think, you know, I'm what would have happened if James Dean had lived and discovered carbohydrates and orthopaedic shoes. You have to tell yourself this bullshit just to keep going! Cause you're constantly being reminded how redundant you are!”

Dylan Moran

On men.
What It Is (2009)

Men , Fate , Shoe , Thinking

“Vodka is a very deceptive drink, because you drink it and you think, "What is this? This is pointless! It's— you can't taste it, you can't smell it… Why did we waste our money on this, bloody— why are we on a traffic island?"”

Dylan Moran

On vodka.
Monster (2004)

Money , Drink , Thinking

“A couple of days ago I saw one of those signs outside of churches and it said "Jesus said: I am the light of the world". Which is a very male view, you know, if Jesus had been Jesusina it would've been more modest. You know because it's a women, she would've been traditionally more modest. Jesusina would've gone: "Well I'm quite bright".”

Dylan Moran

On religion.
What It Is (2009)

Women , World , Light

“(after coughing) Excuse me. I have a touch of everything.”

Dylan Moran

What It Is.
Other

“You should stay away from your potential. I mean, that is something you should leave absolutely alone! You’ll mess it up! It’s potential, leave it! And anyway, it’s like your bank balance, you know: you always have much less than you think. […] Leave it as the locked door within yourself and then at least, in your mind, the interior will always be palatial. Wonderful gleaming marble floors, brocaded drapes. Mullioned windows, covered in mullions, whatever they are. Flamingos serving drinks. Pianos shooting out canapés into the mouths of elegant men and women who are exchanging witticisms… "Oh yes, this reminds me of the time I was in BudaPESHT with Binky… We were trying to steal a goose from the casino, muahahaha…" But it wont be like that[…] You don't want to find out that the most you could possibly achieve, if you gave it your all, if you harvested every screed of energy within you, and devoted yourself to improving yourself, that all you would get to, would be maybe eating less cheesy snacks.”

Dylan Moran

Monster (2004)

Women , Men , Drink , Thinking

“I fear we might be losing the basic human facility to be alone - and with that you throw out independent decision-making, what to trust, what not to trust, key stuff, a perilous loss.”

Dylan Moran

on social networking sites like Facebook
Other

Fear , Decision , Loss