Diana Wynne Jones Quotes page 2

“SAGE. A wise and Holy man who died a long time ago. No one modern qualifies.”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

Diana Wynne Jones book The Tough Guide To Fantasyland

Source: The Tough Guide to Fantasyland

“Calcifer," Sophie said, "I shall have to break your contract. Will it kill you?" "It would if anyone else broke it," Calcifer said hoarsely. "That's why I asked you to do it.”

“Beauty isn't made of sugar.”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

Diana Wynne Jones book The Game

Source: The Game

“I feel ill,” he announced. “I’m going to bed, where I may die.” He tottered piteously to the stairs. “Bury me beside Mrs. Pentstemmon,” he croaked as he went up then to bed.”

“Oh confound that gray-and-scarlet suit!" Sophie said. "I refuse to believe that I was the one that got caught with it!”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

“… don't spoil my learning process!”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

Diana Wynne Jones House of Many Ways

Source: House of Many Ways

“There is very seldom any true secret.”

Diana Wynne Jones book Deep Secret

Source: Deep Secret

“But most dragons seem to have interesting personalities--besides probably having quite good reasons for what they do, if only one could understand them”

Diana Wynne Jones book Fire and Hemlock

Source: Fire and Hemlock

“But whoever heard of enchanted bacon anyway?”

Diana Wynne Jones book Enchanted Glass

Source: Enchanted Glass

“When have you looked?" said Sophie.

"Oh, how your rears flap and your long nose twitches", Howl croaked.”

“She's not stupid. She just never lets her mind out.”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

Diana Wynne Jones House of Many Ways

Source: House of Many Ways

“Do you mind not being so kind and obedient? It makes me nervous.”

“Happiness isn't a thing. You can't go out and get it like a cup of tea. It's the way you feel about things.”

Source: The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, Vol. 1

Diana Wynne Jones book Fire and Hemlock

Source: Fire and Hemlock (1985), p. 311.

“Controller Borasus sighed with relief. Libraries were not places of danger. It had to be a hoax.”

“And it's a pity too that I've no right to open your letters. I hope you don't get many, or my conscience will give me no peace.”

Source: Hexwood

Diana Wynne Jones Charmed Life

Source: Charmed Life

“He scarcely saw his parents. When Christopher was small, he was terrified that he would meet Papa out walking in the Park one day and not recognize him.”

Diana Wynne Jones book The Lives of Christopher Chant

Source: The Lives of Christopher Chant

“On the other hand, it is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.”

“I'm delirious," said Howl. "Spots are crawling before my eyes."
"Those are spiders," said Sophie. "Why can't you cure yourself with a spell?"
"Because there is no cure for a cold," Howl said dolefully.”

Variant: It is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.
Source: Howl's Moving Castle

“SHE LIKES MY SPARK!!!!--Calcifer”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

“Busy old fool, unruly Sophie”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

“"So you'll be wanting all these hydrangeas chopped down, then?"
"Whatever for?" Charmain said.
"I like to chop things down," the kobold explained. "Chief pleasure of gardening."”

Source: Howl's Moving Castle

“There was a little white statue there. Now I'm not artistic. I saw it was of a fellow with no clothes on - I always wonder why it's Art to take your clothes off: they never put in the goose pimples - and this fellow was wrapped in chains. He didn't look as if he was enjoying himself, and small wonder.”

Source: Castle Series, House of Many Ways (2008), p. 57.

Diana Wynne Jones book The Homeward Bounders

Source: The Homeward Bounders (1981), p. 13.

“She was one of those who could talk and talk and talk. Gair listened to her harsh voice - "Just like a duck," Ayna described it - and hoped she would lose the argument. But Adara once said Kasta had never lost an argument in her life. She just talked everyone insensible.”

“Oh, Lord! He's a weeper!" Grandad said disgustedly. "I wish I'd known. I'd have stayed away."
"A lot of Merlins have cried when they prophesied," Dad pointed out.
"I know. But I don't have to like it, do I?”

Source: Power of Three (1976), p. 108.

“One does not want glory accepted as a matter of course. One wants to shock and astonish people with it.”

Grandad retorted.
Source: Magids Series, The Merlin Conspiracy (2003), p. 27.

“It was very boring. Perhaps it was his job to be boring, Vivian thought, in which case he was very good at his job.”

Source: Power of Three (1976), p. 9.

“"This is a very old argument. The greatest happiness of the greatest number. If you think about it, you'll find it always works out that a few suffer for the good of the rest."
"In stories," Gair agreed hopelessly. "brave men die defending the rest. But this isn't like that!"
"Call it the modern version," Mr Claybury suggested kindly.”

Source: A Tale of Time City (1987), pp. 78-79.

“"But she's too big!" the anguished man said, still glaring at Vivian. "This girl is not the right size!"
…
"She was six when she went away, Father," Jonathan said. He did not seem in the least alarmed. "That was nearly six years ago. Think how much I've changed since then."
"So you have," said this alarming man, turning his glare on Jonathan as if he did not think the change was for the better. "I see," he said. "She grew."”

Source: Power of Three (1976), p. 201.

“"Oh, what a sweet little doggie!" Mrs Baker cried out. "Is ooh hungwy, then?" She gave Waif the rest of the cake she was eating. Waif took it politely, ate it in one gulp and continued to beg. Mrs Baker gave her a whole cake from the plate. This caused Waif to beg more soulfully than ever.
"I'm disgusted," Charmain told Waif.”

Source: A Tale of Time City (1987), p. 45.

“Vivian stared. Never had she seen a boy with such long hair! In fact, she had a vague notion that boys were born with their hair short back and sides and only girls had hair that grew long.”

Source: Castle Series, House of Many Ways (2008), p. 99.

“"It looks as if you need only enter the field for long enough to recognise the bannus and take hold of it. Then you order it to stop."
"Fight my way through a mob of dancing girls and snatch the dulcimer off the leading damsel," Reigner Two said morbidly. "I can just see myself. I think the fools who invented this thing might have thought of a simpler way to stop it. What's wrong with a red switch?"”

Source: A Tale of Time City (1987), pp. 16-17.

“Dear Polly,
Tom wishes you, for some reason I can't understand, to consider the human back. He says there are many other matters you should consider too, but that was a particularly glaring example. He invites you, he says, to walk along a beach this summer and watch the male citizens there sunning themselves. There you will see backs - backs stringy, backs bulging, and backs with ingrained dirt. You will find, he says, yellow skin, blackheads, pimples, enlarged pores and tufts of hair.
This is making me ill, but Tom says go on. Peeling sunburn, warts, boils, moles and midge bites and floppy rolls of skin. Even a back without these blemishes, he claims, seldom or never ripples, unless with gooseflesh. In fact, he defies you to find an inch of silk or a single powerful muscle in any hundred yards of average sunbathers. I hope you know what all this is about, because I don't. I think you should stay away from the seaside if you can.
Yours ever, Sam.”

Source: Hexwood (1993), p. 138.

Diana Wynne Jones book Fire and Hemlock

Source: Fire and Hemlock (1985), p. 265.

“I have been with the Court all my life, travelling with the King's Progress.
I didn't know how to go on. I sat and stared at this sentence, until Grundo said, "If you can't do it, I will."
If you didn't know Grundo, you'd think this was a generous offer, but it was a threat really. Grundo is dyslexic. Unless he thinks hard, he writes inside out and backwards. He was threatening me with half a page of crooked writing with words like "inside" turning up as "sindie" and "story" as "otsyr".”

“"Look here," Gerald said, "what do you think of Giants?"
There was the kind of pause that happens when people do not like to say what they really think.”

Source: Magids Series, The Merlin Conspiracy (2003), p. 7.
First lines of the novel.

“"Oh, thank goodness!" he babbled. "I didn't mean it - at least I did, but I don't mean it now, not any more!" He flung one arm around Yam and twisted the other into Mordion's rolled cloak. "They came. They rustled. Don't let them!"”

Source: Power of Three (1976), p. 166.

“"Curse those two time-ghosts!" he almost shrieked. "They made me quite sure you were the Time Lady! But you're not, are you? I could tell you were a real Twenty Century person with every word you said. Mickey Mouse!" he yelled.”

Source: Hexwood (1993), p. 255.

“If you stood up and told the truth in the wrong way, it was not true any longer, though it might be as powerful as ever.”

Source: A Tale of Time City (1987), p. 87.

“Adara was impressed. "How do you know that?"
"I learnt it," said Hathil. "It pays to learn things."”

Source: Dalemark Quartet, Cart and Cwidder (1975), p. 212.

“I had a mitherable childhood. Nobody loved me. I think I have a right to try again, looking pwettier, don't you?”

Source: Power of Three (1976), p. 25.

“Mitt did not quite forget his perfect land. He remembered it, though a little fuzzily, next time the wind dropped, but he did not set off to look for it again. It was plain to him that soldiers only brought you back again if you went. It made him sad. When an inkling of it came to him in silence, or in scents, or, later, if the wind hummed a certain note, or a storm came shouting in from the sea and he caught the same note in the midst of its noise, he thought of his lost perfect place and felt for a moment as if his heart would break.”

Source: Castle Series, House of Many Ways (2008), p. 306.

“"What you do is find your centre - can you do that?"
"My navel, you mean?" I said.
"No, no!" he howled. "You're not a woman! Or are you?"”

Source: Dalemark Quartet, Drowned Ammet (1977), p. 233.

“The only good Dorig is a dead Dorig.”

Source: Magids Series, The Merlin Conspiracy (2003), pp. 113-114.

“Over scones round the kitchen table, it emerged that Aunt Mary thought Ayna, Gair and Ceri came from Malaysia. Brenda looked at their faces and breathed in half a scone.
While Gerald was pounding Brenda on the back, Ceri leaned back from the vibrating table and looked at Aunt Mary limpidly in the eye. "I'm afraid we don't remember Masaylia at all."
"Malaysia!"”

Source: Power of Three (1976), p. 9.

“Ann looked down at him, spread on the bank preparing to go to sleep, and lost her temper. "Then you should go and tell him! You should look after him! He's all alone in this wood, and he's quite small, and he doesn't even know he's not supposed to go out of it. He probably doesn't even know how to work the field to get food. You - you calmly make him up, out of blood and - and nothing, and you expect him to do your dirty work for you, and you don't even tell him the rules!”

hissed Ayna.
"Or that either," said Ceri.
Source: Power of Three (1976), p. 174.

“"It is of course a magic carpet."
Abdullah had heard that one before. He bowed over his tucked-up hands. "Many and various are the virtues said to reside in carpets," he agreed. "Which one does the poet of the sands claim for this? Does it welcome a man home to his tent? Does it bring peace to the hearth? Or maybe," he said, poking the frayed edge suggestively with one toe, "it is said to never wear out?"”

You can't do that to a person!"
Source: Hexwood (1993), pp. 54-55.

“Tell me of this Wizard Howl of yours."
Sophie's teeth chattered, but she said proudly, "He's the best wizard in Ingary or anywhere else. If he'd only had time, he would have defeated that djinn. And he's sly and selfish and vain as a peacock and cowardly and you can't pin him down to anything."
"Indeed?" asked Abdullah. "Strange that you should speak so proudly such a list of vices, most loving of ladies."
"What do you mean — vices?”

Source: Castle Series, Castle in the Air (1990), pp. 16-17.

“"I don't believe this!" Peter said. "Why is it respectable not to know how to do things? Is it respectable to light a fire with a bar of soap?"
"That," Charmain said haughtily, "was an accident."”

Sophie asked angrily. "I was just describing Howl."
Source: Castle Series, Castle in the Air (1990), p. 214.

“One person ought to treat another person properly, even if the person's himself."
"What a strange idea!”

Source: Castle Series, House of Many Ways (2008), p. 109.