Charlaine Harris: Vampire

“Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive.”

“Ha," I said. "Oh, ha-ha. Yeah, ’cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?"
One," said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell.”

“Woo woo, secret vampire stuff!”

“I snuck a look to see how Eric was taking this, and he was staring at me the same way the Monroe vampires had. Thoughtful. Hungry.
"That's interesting," he said. "I had a psychic once. It was incredible."
"Did the psychic think so?”

“You won't find a vampire in a Ford Fiesta”

“Oh, God, puppy dog eyes. From a six-foot-five ancient Viking vampire.”

“The vampire is not a bad man, and he loves you”

“You just don't want a vampire pissed off at you.”

“As exits go, that's a good one." It was pretty hard to have the last word with a vampire.”

“I so seldom had to dispose of a human body myself, I was at a loss. Fairies turned into dust, and vampires flaked away. Demons had to be burned. Humans were very troublesome.”