Bill Bailey: Quotes about the world

Bill Bailey is English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Explore interesting quotes on world.

Bill Bailey: 186 quotes2 likes

“(After asking the audience about their negative experiences with Marijuana)
BB: So, what form did these experiences take?
Audience Member: Swimming with dolphins! (mentioned earlier on the show)
BB: (misunderstands) Dolby? What, you hear everything with a slightly reduced hiss? (As Audience Member) I like to hear the world in Dolby, it's fantastic! Mind you, it means that no snake will I ever hear. And I said that in a very strange way. [As Yoda] No snake will I ever hear, mmm! [Normally] Never put Dolby on snake detectors, that's what we must remember.”

Part Troll (2004)

“Anyway, beards and drugs leads me neatly to the Taliban; were they really that backward, or were they the finest minds of the fourteenth century? Nobody seems to know or care. That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.”

Part Troll (2004)

“Beautiful ladies in danger. Danger all around the world. But I will protect them, because I am Chris de Burgh! Beautiful ladies in emergency situations. Beautiful ladies are lovely but sometimes they don't take care
They're too busy with their makeup and combing their lovely hairTo take basic safety precautions But I will protect them I will save the pretty onesWith their smiles and their beautiful eyesBut let the ugly ones dieI have no place for them in my new world orderI won't waste my seed on hideous trollsKill kill kill kill kill the trolls hunt them down there shall be no clemencyKill kill kill kill kill the trollsLook under the bridges that's where they hideThat's where they hideAnd beauty shall be my bride.”

Lyrics

“(Imitating a Belarus citizen commenting on their national flag) Stupid National Anthem…. Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit"”

Tinselworm (2008)

“Creationists mainly are Americans who think the world was created in 1982 to coincide with the rise of Supertramp, but you can very easily dispute this by playing some of Supertramp's earlier albums.”

Dandelion Mind (2010)

“It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.”

Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2008)

“Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.”

Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2008)

“It's what we've always known for many years outside of Australia…You can't have a world leader called Kevin.”

On Kevin Rudd
Dandelion Mind (2010)