“I got the sneaking suspicion that the vampire was a couple of Peeps short of an Easter basket.”

“He who wants Lent to seem short, should contract a debt to be repaid at Easter.”

“What's unfortunate is that most people regard the great leapers as being only the short guys who could dunk," said the 7-1 1/16 Wilt Chamberlain. "My sergeant [vertical leap] was higher than Michael Jordan's. When I went to Kansas, they had a 12-foot basket in the gym, because Dr. Phog Allen was advocating the 12-foot basket. I used to dunk on that basket. It was an effort, but I could do it.”

“She laughed, and drank more beer. “Take a long trace off a short bridge, vampire.”

“Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire.”

“I just went to work for a vampire, was scared by a spider, and got knocked down by a tanning bomb. And that’s just my day, not my week.”

“I've got a couple of those Gossard Wonderbras. They are so brilliant, I swear, even I get cleavage with them.”

“Put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket.”

“I wake up in the morning, all I think is flip
Count a couple hundreds, flip a couple bricks
Time to hit the plug now, need another flip
Counting all this money, got me filthy rich”

“I spend most of my waking hours confronting and destroying things that I fear. A thousand-year-old master vampire was a tall order, but a girl's got to have a goal.”