“It's easy to make up weird stuff. It gets trickier when you want the weird stuff to be interesting and make sense.”

“Monogamy is so weird. Like when you know their name and stuff.”

“It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.”

“I wish I could do some really weird stuff for you guys, you know?”

“But Abraham, you mean I'm supposed to make stuff up!?!?
- You are creators, you make stuff up all the time!”

“Stuff that would be weird in the bright light of day just wasn't so much once you passed a certain hour.”

“I don't have the Tom Hanks fans. When you make the kind of movies I make, you get weird letters from people.”

“You want my opinion? We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

“The object of life is to make sure you die a weird death. To make sure that, however it finds you, it finds you under very weird circumstances.”