“It's not a date. I bought my own drink and I didn't shave my legs.”

“You know, I would date if I could find a man worth shaving my legs for. But most are such a waste of time that I’d rather sit at home and watch reruns of Hee Haw.”

“I always went my own road and on my own legs where I had a mind to go”

“One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar and I didn't know it. I mean there was a little blood there, and something like that.”

“So you interrupted my date to make fun of me for still living with my parents. Couldn't you have done that on a night I didn't have a date? That's most nights, in case you're curious.”

“In my lowest moments, the only reason I didn't commit suicide was that I knew I wouldn't be able to drink anymore if I was dead.”

“I didn't speak any English when I arrived here [but] I was very good at drinking. [It was my] third day in the U. S., so I talked to the other students, 'Let's have a drink.' They said, 'How can you get the drinks? We are not allowed?' And I said, 'I can buy it in Chinatown.' So I bought it and we drank in my room and we get crazy all night long and they don't have enough tolerance for that, so they all starting throwing up. Suddenly there came four or five ambulances and they kept asking, 'Hey, why, did you do that?”

“My father considered that anyone who went to chapel and didn't drink alcohol was not to be tolerated. I grew up in that belief.”

“I'm not good at the protocols of dating. [laughs] I'm not really experienced in that. My girlfriend is my second or third girlfriend. I think in the past none of us really knew when we were "dating"-we were just hanging out and doing things. I didn't go to high school so I missed the prom.”

“He lunged again. This time I stood my ground and he checked his leap at the last second…. and toppled sideways. I didn't hide my laugh that time. His face twisted fast, grabbed my pajama leg and wrenched, and down I went.
"Bully”