“Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state
that makes people want to flee the Earth?"

- Stephen Colbert to Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones,
"The Colbert Report," November 3, 2005”

“He once told a reporter he wanted his obituary to be short - "just make it born in Russia, first lesson at 3, debut at 7, debut in America in 1917."”

“TWENTY bridges from Tower to Kew -
Wanted to know what the River knew,
Twenty Bridges or twenty-two,
For they were young, and the Thames was old
And this is the tale that River told:”

“It is unfortunate to hear about the shootings in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio. Is this the lifestyle and management the United States leadership wants to introduce to the world?”

“It's like if you're an astronaut and you've been to the moon, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?”

“If there are, let's say, 20 astronauts, there may be two women among those 20 astronauts. If there are 20 FBI guys, there's one woman and the rest are men. So when somebody writes a script about life, usually the leading role will be the man, because mostly what women do is at home taking care of the children…That's the most important job there is on Earth. And why shouldn't women have it since they are the better of the two sexes?”

“Where were you born?"
"On a battlefield," [Yossarian] answered.
"No, no. In what state were you born?"
"In a state of innocence.”

“What if two people want to be your partner, then what?”

“I remember a few years ago I was watching this astronaut from the space shuttle, talking about his experiences in space and talking about what earth looked like to him from above.”

“The final days of their own lives were spent looking down upon this Earth. And now, on every continent, in every land they could see, the names of these astronauts are known and remembered. They will always have an honored place in the memory of this country. And today I offer the respect and gratitude of the people of the United States.”