“Death, jewelry, or magic; it sounded like Valentine's Day.”

“The sound of the pages turning was the sound of magic. The dry liquid feel of paper under fingertips was what magic felt like.”

“The only thing worse than being single on Valentine's day is being single on Valentine's day while living with a couple.”

“Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday.”

“Just like the good old days: marching together into the unknown, searching for missing magical weapons and risking painful death. I’d missed my buddies!”

“Happy valentines day. All I have is my hampster and my steroids.”

“Valentine's Day is being marketed as a Date Movie. I think it's more of a First-Date Movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date.”

“Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me.”

“At once, far off… begins a rumbling, droning noise -- like a thousand distant flying machines -- like the sound of an armada of mechanical birds -- a noise reminiscent of implacable, massive stage machinery in a masque or pageant that is several streets away. It is not one sound but many sounds combined. This is the sound of Prospero's magic.”

“In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that…oh, who cares?”