“Piper: it looks like we have hole. Percy: Yeah we've got a dam hole! (LOL-ing) Piper: What! Percy: Inside joke. (still LOL-ing) Piper: Whatever.”

“He [Percy] pleaded with those sea-green eyes, like a cute baby seal that needed help. Piper wondered how Annabeth ever won an argument with this guy.”

“Percy looked at his friends. "I'm getting tired of this guy's shirt."
"Combat time?" Piper grabbed her horn of plenty.
"I hate wonder bread," Jason said.
Together, they charged.”

“This is Leo. I'm the… What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or…"
"Repair boy."
"Very funny, Piper.”

“Children defer to adults because they’re older, bigger and stronger. But it’s also because children believe that adults have reasons for what they do. There was nothing magical about the Pied Piper of Hamelin’s flute. The Piper acted like he knew where he was going and the children followed him into the dark mountains where they were never seen again.”

“Singers: We've got nothing always had nothing
nothing but holes and millions of them
Kokol: Living in holes
Polpoch: Dying in holes
Cucurucu: Holes in our bellies
Rossignol: and holes in our clothes”

“You know, I couldn't go out into the high street without a bunch of kids following me. I felt like the Pied Piper.”

“Leo: "So… giants who can throw mountains. Friendly wolves that will eat us if we show weakness. Evil espresso drinks. Gotcha. Maybe this isn't the best time to bring up my psycho babysitter."
Piper: "Is that another joke?”

“But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.”

“Fighting for peace, is like f***ing for chastity”