“"The universe loves a drama," you know. And ladies and gentlemen this is the show.”

Farewell Address (1947)
Context: Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen. You know how bad my voice sounds. Well, it feels just as bad. You know this baseball game of ours comes up from the youth. That means the boys. And after you've been a boy, and grow up to know how to play ball, then you come to the boys you see representing themselves today in our national pastime.

Instructions to the singers in his opera Pelléas et Mélisande, as quoted in 100 Great Operas and Their Stories (1989) by Henry William Simon, p. 371

Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show
Song lyrics, Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show (1969)

October 12, 1977, reporting a school fire (initially mistaken as a tenement fire), while announcing Game 2 of the 1977 World Series. This comment, while widely attributed to Cosell, was never made.[citation needed]
Incorrectly Attributed

Lange described the call: "I went into a place to try and get something to eat and the lady very distinctly said to me, 'The kitchen is closed!' I said, 'Wow. There's the end, that's it, you can't eat any more, you haven't got a prayer.' I said, 'That's finality, baby!'"
"Eddie Spaghetti! The Story Behind Mike Lange-isms"

Source: Lost Love Found

The 78th Academy Awards (2006)

Opening words to a commencement address supposedly given by Vonnegut at M.I.T., but actually based on Mary Schmich's June 1, 1997 column for the Chicago Tribune
Misattributed