“That's a 7.76mm round, you idiots, if you fire it into the air it comes to earth you know not where, like on some little kid's soft-skulled head, and that's the end of the kid. They're too stupid to even figure that much out.”

“Did you figure out the second head fake? This talk's not for you. It's for my kids.”

“Roger: Yeah, I don't know. It was awesome. It's a great feeling. I don't really know. It's built up so slowly that I can't even tell you when it actually went over the threshold of 500 kids or 1000 kids or 2000 kids or whatever - but we've stood it all. We've played with 80,000 kids at these festivals in Europe and we've played to eight kids, you know? It feels great. It feels great every time. As long as there's somebody out there singing or jumping around making an idiot out of themselves just as much as we are, then we think it's ok.”

“Remember how you used to try and make kids turn round at school by staring at the back of their heads? And how they used to go home early crying with blood coming out of their ears?”

“GG Allin: Nobody will stop me 'cause I'm the true underground messiah. When you come to my show you're going to a war and I'm out for violence, chaos, lawlessness all the way. I don't care about anybody or anything except myself and my mission and your kids out there, if you got kids out there they're gonna be my kids. I'm gonna own those kids. They're gonna do anything that I say.”

“These are our kids… They're good kids… Joining the army or the Marine Corps does not make you into a crypto-alcoholic Nazi, it makes you into a child of America who is doing a job for his country… Those are our kids… They're our kids.”

“My point is simply that kids turn out okay as long as the parents are involved, no matter where they live. It's not like small towns have a monopoly on values. I mean, I'm sure if I did some digging, I'd find lots of kids that were in trouble here, too. Kids are kids, no matter where they live.”

“Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change. You know, I mean, Jesus was a white man too, but, you know, it's like — We have — He was a historical figure, that's a verifiable fact, as is Santa. I just want the kids at home to know that.”

“Kids are baby goats. They're cute and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids.”

“They're on their way to the foreign-language wing. That's no surprise. The foreign kids are always here, like they need to breathe air scented with their native language a couple times a day or they'll choke to death on too much American.”