“(Man on television) Rita, you must believe me, alien beings are among us. (Sylvia) Yeah, in public office.”

“(Sylvia) Rita! Get my smelling salts! (Rita) Ma, you used them up when you discovered that repeal of the estate tax benefits only the very, very rich.”

“(Television) Humor will never be the same. Sarcasm, irony, and cynicism will disappear. (Sylvia) Right. I'm having mine surgically removed. (Rita) Ma, cut it out!”

“(Television) Being a woman is as much a state of mind as a state of being. (Sylvia) Right. You stop paying attention, you might turn into a tuna.”

“(Man on television) The investment firm of Smith Barney: they make money the old-fashioned way--they earn it. (Sylvia) Right. The rest of us pick it off trees in the backyard.”

“(Television) There's a special feeling about being a woman. You do so much for everyone around you. But some days (Sylvia) You realize you've been had.”

“(Man on television) Man is the hunter. Woman is the civilizing influence, and when women abandon that role, men become (Sylvia) Cranky, and start wars.”

“The public use of a man's reason must be free at all times, and this alone can bring enlightenment among men…”

“(Voice on television) Midol relives the special pain that women get (Sylvia) when they realize they picked the wrong man, again.”

“(Voice on television) Honey, I love you, but I got to be moving on. (Sylvia) Break his kneecaps.”