“There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel”

“Another good touch. What do we charge for a regular martini?”
“Ninty-five cents—ninety-eight cents with tax.
What's it do to the tips?”
Builds them. There aren’t as many dimes and nickels around, so they usually leave two-bits. The two cents' change is a sting to conscience.””

“We can't even reform the way we make pennies and nickels. This week we learn that making a penny now costs 2 cents and making a nickel costs 9 cents, which makes no sense.”

“Less than fifteen cents to the province and more than twenty-five cents to Ottawa, this is far from being excessive!”

“Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.”

“[As a painting teacher] I'm not flirting, playing around. I'm serious about it... If you don't want to be serious about playing [at art], do something of no account. Go into banking. Buy collar buttons at five cents a dozen and sell them for five cents a piece.”

“At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance”

“Are we not the youth of this country? The SCs form three-fourths of the country. Then why do they say the youth are against you? You gave us something through Mandal, and the whole country pounced on us. It is not the question of 27 per cent or 10 per cent, do we have a place of even 1 per cent in the hearts of the ruling elite?”

“Cars used to have such dashing shapes, like airplanes, back when gas was cheap, twenty-five cents a gallon.”

“But I make a profit of three and a quarter cents an egg by selling them for four and a quarter cents an egg to the people in Malta I buy them from for seven cents an egg. Of course, I don't make the profit. The syndicate makes the profit. And everybody has a share.”