“Thare iz but phew people in this world underrated.”

“Thare iz a grate deal ov charity in this world so koldly rendered that it fairly hurts, it iz like lifting a drowning man out ov the water bi the hair ov the hed, and then letting him drop on the ground.”

“What should we do if it want for the churches? Thare iz a plenty ov people who kant worship God only in a church. If they were out in a field on the Sabbath day they would at once bekum lawless, and fall to digging out woodchucks or hunting for bumblebees' nests.”

“Misanthropy don't pay--thare aint no man living whoze hate the world cares one cuss for.”

“There is no duty we so underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.”

“Men are often praized for their sagassity, but all the fore sight in the world kant tell a dubble yelked egg untill it iz broken.”

“The man who pitys everyboddy, wants watching, for the chances are that he iz gitting phatt slily on other peoples misfortunes.”

“Don't take public opinion for granted – but don't either underrate the degree to which good people will endure sacrifices for a worthwhile cause”

“About one haff the pitty in this world iz not the result ov sorrow, but satisfackshun that it aint our hoss that haz had hiz leg broke.”

“Since I have the obligation to take care of the needs of my family, I have decided to use a talent which, I believe, has been given to me. I am a poet… Phew! You know, reader, what I and all sensible people think about that.”