“And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
The sewing machine that cost me twenty guineas or so.
And that would buy plenty of linen and thread
And things that are hand-made are best, so it's said.
It's not that I'm mingy - although I'm half Scotch.
I know what I'll buy her. A Ingersoll watch.”

— Stanley Holloway

And Yet I Don't Know!

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Stanley Holloway 19

English stage and film actor, comedian, singer, poet and mo… 1890–1982

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“And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
The handkerchiefs that cost me three shillings or so -
And that seems a lot for poor Uncle John
And anything goes to blow noses on. Talking of noses, hers is red enough.
I know what I'll buy her. A nice powder puff. Now she can't powder her nose with a grand piano.
Nor yet with a sewing machine.
She can't powder her nose with an Ingersoll watch -
Well that's silly, you know what I mean.
She can't powder her nose with a jumper.
She'll find that a little bit rough.
So I'll pop round to Woolworth's tomorrow, God bless her
And buy her a nice powder puff. And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
Sixpence ha'pennies aren't found in back yards.
I'll not buy her a powder puff at all - no.
I'll just send her my kindest regards.”

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“And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!The sewing machine that cost me twenty guineas or so.And that would buy plenty of linen and threadAnd things that are hand-made are best, so it's said.It's not that I'm mingy - although I'm half Scotch.I know what I'll buy her. A Ingersoll watch.”

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Stanley Holloway 19

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