“Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul.”

“Fellow citizens:The hour to try your souls and to redeem your pledges has arrived.”

“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.”

“So consider your options, make your choice and call me home.”

“It’s amazing how clean your room can get when you have an assignment due. I considered the possibility of just telling a bunch of jokes and leaving the inspiring to my husband, because he’s very good at that. But, I’m not going to do that.”

“My advice is, do not try to inhabit another's soul. You have your own.”

“Please note: if you think the above is offensive, it is of course a joke and you did not get it. If you do not find it offensive, it is of course not a joke, and you did not get it. This is not a joke. Get it?”

“Women who insist on having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.”

“Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.”

“Don’t you get an empty feeling in your soul when you have a blank to-do list?”