“In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7. Well, I want you all to know that I'm keeping a chart.”

“If I should cease to think of you at all for a prescribed time, I should find I could keep it up indefinitely. […] You know that what you ask is impossible […] I'm capable of nothing with regard to you," he went on, "but just of being infernally in love with you. If one's strong one loves only the more strongly.”

“I asked my Dad once, "How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?" He said. "Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time."”

“People ask all the time how I'm doing, but the truth is, they don't really want to know.”

“You should spend more time reading the Good Book and less reading all those novels. What are you going to tell the Lord on Judgement Day when He asks you why you didn't read your bible? Hmm?"I said. To myself.”

“Dear Forgiveness, you know that recently
we have had our difficulties and there are many things
I want to ask you.”

“The Bible is God's chart for you to steer by, to keep you from the bottom of the sea, and to show you where the harbor is, and how to reach it without running on rocks or bars.”

“Now look, I'm not saying God is, you know, causing earthquakes. Well—I'm not saying that he—I'm not not saying that either. God — what God does is God's business, I have no idea. But I'll tell you this: whether you call it Gaia or whether you call it Jesus — there's a message being sent. And that is, "Hey, you know that stuff we're doing? Not really working out real well. Maybe we should stop doing some of it."”

“You want to take me to a movie?" I asked.
"Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off.”

“How many times did Jesus pray or how many times did he bow in private before God?”