“My dong is super-friendly and loves getting rubbed by children. #CareerEndingTwitterTypos”
4 November 2013 tweet https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/397417761204224000
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Patton Oswalt 8
stand-up comedian 1969Related quotes

“I love all of the african americans like they are my children.”
"African american" seems an ananchronistic term here, as the term was seldom used before the 1970s.
Disputed
"The Fathering Instinct" http://books.google.com/books?id=EbQbAQAAMAAJ&q=%22My+fathering+had+always+taken+the+form+of+a+friendly+cloud+that+floated+across+the+lives+of+the+children+and+paused+occasionally+to+cast+a+shadow+That+they+would+turn+out+to+have+their+own+weather+and+that+I+would+profit+by+the+climate+was+an+immense+satisfaction%22&pg=PA112#v=onepage, Ms. magazine, May 1974

Plan of attack at the Muddy Creek Massacre.

“If they're killing Kennedys, then my children are targets … I want to get out of this country.”
After assassination of Robert F. Kennedy (1968) http://www.nytimes.com/1999/07/19/us/john-f-kennedy-jr-heir-to-a-formidable-dynasty.html?pagewanted=all

“She's lovely, great. She was very friendly. She was just like a mum to us.”
About Queen Elizabeth II, in an interview after the Beatles received their MBEs from her (26 October 1965)