“How I wished for manhood and the opportunity to wreak my vengeance on my country’s oppressors”

his lecture Sarnia April 1858 "Anglo-Saxon race" reflecting on his youthhood readings of Bruce and Wallace - Buckingham page 137

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Do you have more details about the quote "How I wished for manhood and the opportunity to wreak my vengeance on my country’s oppressors" by Alexander Mackenzie?
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Alexander Mackenzie 35
2nd Prime Minister of Canada 1822–1892

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Context: I once spoke to my aunt of the vow I had taken, the solemn promise I had made to myself that I would discover the murderer of my father, and take vengeance upon him, and she laid her hand upon my mouth. She was a pious woman, and she repeated the words of the gospel: "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord." Then she added: "We must leave the punishment of the crime to Him; His will is hidden from us. Remember the divine precept and promise, 'Forgive and you shall be forgiven.' Never say: 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.' Ah, no; drive this enmity out of your heart, Cornelis; yes, even this." And there were tears in her eyes.
My poor aunt! She thought me made of sterner stuff than I really was. There was no need of her advice to prevent my being consumed by the desire for vengeance which had been the fixed star of my early youth, the blood-colored beacon aflame in my night. Ah! the resolutions of boyhood, the "oaths of Hannibal" taken to ourselves, the dream of devoting all our strength to one single and unchanging aim — life sweeps all that away, together with our generous illusions, ardent enthusiasm, and noble hopes.

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