“On the phone with his wife when the plane he was on stopped after hitting a deer.
Engvall: When we landed on the runway, we hit a deer with our airplane. You can't make this up. And it killed the deer, it wrecked the engine. We had to evacuate the plane. But the plane was so small it didn't have slides. The flight attendant said "Just step out." So they put us in a van and they're busing us back to the terminal and I'm laughing at this point because this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I got back to the terminal, I called my wife. I said "Baby, you're not gonna believe this. We just hit a deer with our airplane". There was a pause on the other end of the line, followed by…
Gail: Oh my God! Were you on the ground?

Engvall: Nope, Santa was making one last run! Here's your sign.”

— Bill Engvall

Here's Your Sign: Live! (2004)
Here's Your Sign

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Bill Engvall 71

American comedian and actor 1957

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“Bill and his brother-in-law had shot a deer and drove it in to get processed. At a rest stop, a woman stops at the truck
Woman: Did y'all shoot this deer?!
Bill's Brother-in-law: No, ma'am, we did not shoot this deer. It was the saddest thing. We were just driving down the road, the deer got into the back of our truck at a stop sign, handed us a note and then shot himself! Here's your sign.”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

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“We exist on several different planes, and when we said nothing had any reason we were referring to the psychological and social plane.”

Eugéne Ionesco (1909–1994) Romanian playwright

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“We use trains and planes, but they are not our trains or planes. The (Westerners) manufacture them and export them to us…. We own them, but we don't manufacture them. We don't even produce a single nail in any of these cars…. Islam teaches us to do things professionally. Doing things professionally is a religious duty…. The Prophet said that Allah ordered to excel in everyhting…. Even when killing, you must do well…. We import everything from needles to missiles. This is our nation. We still haven't manufactured an engine in our Arab countries. We assemble parts, but have no manufacturing industries.”

Yusuf Qaradawi (1926) Egyptian imam

Sheik Yousuf Al-Qaradhawi: The Islamic Nation's Problem is That Muslims Do Not Work. The Zionist Gang Has Turned the Desert into an Oasis http://www.memritv.org/clip_transcript/en/645.htm 4/15/2005.
Knowledge and industry

“The Deer don't dine
When a Wolf's about,
And the Porcupine
Sticks his quill-points out.”

Arthur Guiterman (1871–1943) United States writer

Safety First https://tspace.library.utoronto.ca/html/1807/4350/poem3072.html

“I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, "I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.”

David Sedaris (1956) American author

Interview with Robert David Sullivan
Context: "I love things made out of animals," Sedaris says, holding a knife with a hoof for a handle. "It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.'"

“The purpose of my Bill is simply to remove the legal nicety which, at the moment, allows the hunting and killing of deer with dogs, which I believe to be a wanton cruelty. The Bill would not prohibit the culling of deer to restrict the deer population and so to protect the deer's habitat, and it would not prohibit the shooting of deer, but it would prohibit the extremely cruel practice of hunting deer with dogs…This Bill is yet another step forward in making this country's legislation on animals slightly more humane and slightly more civilised. I believe that it has overwhelming support throughout the country. Hunting with dogs and the vile killing for bloodlust in the name of sport should not be allowed in this country. The House must represent the views of the vast majority of people throughout the country and pass this legislation to remove this so-called sport, which I believe to be an obscenity, from legal sanction in this country and to abolish it so that we may have fair legislation that guarantees the safety of animals and prohibits and outlaws the cruelty to animals that is part of so-called sport.”

Jeremy Corbyn (1949) British Labour Party politician

Speech http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1990/jun/19/abolition-of-deer-hunting in the House of Commons (19 June 1990).
1990s

“We have no other choice, we have no power to stop the [U. S. ] planes, if we could, if I could … we would stop them and bring them down, … If we had a chelak, we would throw it and stop the American aircraft. We have no radar to stop them in the sky, we have no planes, … I wish I could intercept the planes that are going to bomb Afghan villages, but that’s not in my hands.”

Hamid Karzai (1957) President of Afghanistan

Afghan president wishes he could down U.S. planes, www.cnn.com, November 26, 2008 http://in.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idINISL40856620081126,
Message to Taliban

“We later learned that all the nineteen passengers in the non-smoking compartment had been killed. When the plane had hit the water a hole had been made in the plane and the water had rushed in. I had told a friend at Oslo who was finding me a place that he must find me a place where I could smoke, remarking jocularly, 'If I cannot smoke, I shall die.”

Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) logician, one of the first analytic philosophers and political activist

Unexpectedly, this turned out to be true.
1960s, The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell (1967-1969)

“in the lost luggage office in Buffalo
Lost luggage employee: Can I help you?
Engvall: Yes, you lost my luggage.
Employee: [looking directly at Bill] Has your plane landed yet?
Engvall: No, princess. I'm having an out of body experience. I'm just checkin' on it.”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie (2003)
Here's Your Sign

“Ron White's son is going on a direct flight from Austin, Texas to Houston, Texas and is talking to the flight attendant.
Flight attendant: Is there going to be someone to pick him up when he gets off the plane?
Ron: No, I'm going to pin a $20 bill to his collar and wish him the best of luck. Here's your sign.”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie (2003)
Here's Your Sign

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Bill Engvall 71

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