“If people thought about the environmental destruction, cruelty to animals, and unsavory-sounding body parts that go into meat hot dogs, they’d be switching to veggie hot dogs faster than you can say ‘inconvenient truth.”

“Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.”

“Religion and xenophobia go together like hot dogs and mustard.”

“Okay," Kincaid said. "Anyone have any questions?"

"Why do they sell hot dogs in packages of ten but hot dog buns in packages of eight?”

“I think it's something that people don't think about. It's hot outside—your car is like a fishbowl. So the light comes in, and it gets trapped, and it gets really hot in there really quickly. If you see a dog in a hot car, and you think that he's in danger or that he's been there for a while, it's good to speak up… go into whatever businesses it's parked outside of, and just raise awareness about it.”

“The more I got educated about cruelty and inhumane treatment, then it was really a no-brainer [to become a vegetarian]. No one would barbecue their family dog. Why is a cow or a pig different or a chicken different? They're just as much of a gentle animal as a dog or a cat. I just feel stronger, faster, cleaner, healthier.”

“People love dogs. You can never go wrong adding a dog to the story.”

“Tattoos are cool because they don’t belong on your body, but you put it there to say something about yourself. Much like my rolls of fat. That shit does not belong on a human body. And I put it there to say something about me. I don’t like fruit. I don’t like it! Long bike ride? I’m out. Hot dog eating contest? I’m listening.”

“You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!”

“The human desire for food and sex is relatively equal. If there are armed rapes, why should there not be armed hot dog thefts?”