“You want something to drink?” – Nick
“Human blood would be fabulous. But since I doubt you’re donating, let me suffer for a minute longer.” – Caleb”

“One of you guys is going to have to feed the vampiric lawyer some blood and it can’t be me. (Caleb)
Why? You afraid of a little bite?
I’m anemic. (Nick)
And I’m Catholic. Doesn’t that knock me out of the running? (Nick)”

“Where are the cops when you need them? (Nick)
Probably eating beignets. As the old saying goes, when seconds count, the police are just minutes away. (Caleb)”

“How old are you?” – Nick
“That many zeros and you just get tired of counting.” – Caleb”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to be in pain, and I definitely don’t want to suffer.” – Nick
“Well…The only way to avoid them is to die.” – Death
“Okay, let’s change the topic now. Oh, look! A chicken.” – Nick”

“Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do?”

“That which doesn’t kill us just requires a few centuries of therapy. (Caleb)
Yeah, and usually a lot of Tylenol. (Nick)”

“And what about us? Do you want a vampire boyfriend?" He laughed bitterly. "Because I forsee many romantic picnics in our future. You, drinking a virgin piña colada. Me, drinking the blood of a virgin.”

“Stop a minute and listen. I know I'm asking the impossible from you, but for once in your life, shut your mouth and open your ears."

"I'm not the one talking."

Kyrian snarled at him. "Don't get smart with me."

"You want me stupid?"

"Nick….”

“We’ve got to get these guys to Bubba’s. Anyone got a clue how to do it? (Nick)
They gotta be breathing? (Simi)
Yes. (Nick and Caleb)
Well, pooh. That just takes all the fun out of it. (Simi)”