“Coach Hedge grumbled as he tended their wounds. “How come I never get invited on these violent trips?”

“I should've blown more stuff up." -Coach Gleeson Hedge”

“Yeah! Bring it on lake!" -Coach Gleeson Hedge”

“Coach Hedge yelled,“Thar she blows! Kansas, ahoy!”
“Holy Hephaestus,” Leo muttered. “He really needs to work on his shipspeak.”

“And I could always set Coach Hedge on fire,” Leo volunteered. “Then he can be fire.” The thought of a blazing satyr screaming, “Die, scumbag!” as he attacked Gaea was almost enough to make Piper laugh— almost.”

“I’m prepared. I have a gun and I know how to shoot, and whoever comes calling without an invitation will get it in the rear end.”

“While Coach Hedge was having dinner on the foredeck, a wild pegasus appeared from nowhere, stampeded over the coach’s enchiladas, and flew off again, leaving cheesy hoof prints all across the deck. “What was that for?” the coach demanded.”

“Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves.

“Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?”

“No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!”

“But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!”

“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.”

“Coach Hedge shouted, 'Let the movie star go, you big ugly cupcake! Or I'm gonna plant my hoof right up your…”