“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.”

“The United States is the only country with a known birthday. All the rest began, they know not when, and grew into power, they know not how. If there had been no Independence Day, England and America combined would not be so great as each actually is. There is no "Republican," no "Democrat," on the Fourth of July — all are Americans. All feel that their country is greater than party.”

“Europeans firmly believe these sorts of caricatures--because they are repeated every day by the elites.”

“I have often stated that baseball's proudest moment and its most powerful social statement came on April 15, 1947 when Jackie Robinson first set foot on a Major League Baseball field. On that day, Jackie put an end to segregation in baseball and ushered in the era in which baseball became the true national pastime. By celebrating Jackie Robinson Day every April 15, we have ensured that the incredible contributions and sacrifices he made — for baseball and society — will not be forgotten.”

“For most Americans, Wednesday, April 15th will be Tax Day, but in our fourth story tonight: It's going to be teabagging day for the right-wing and they’re going nuts for it.”

“Republicans… That's what scares people these days.
That, and uh, Democrats.”

“Seize the day. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die.”

“If an idiot were to tell you the same story every day for a year, you would end by believing it.”

“I've seen it happen time after time. When the Democratic candidate allows himself to be put on the defensive and starts apologizing for the New Deal and the fair Deal, and says he really doesn't believe in them, he is sure to lose. The people don't want a phony Democrat. If it's a choice between a genuine Republican, and a Republican in Democratic clothing, the people will choose the genuine article, every time; that is, they will take a Republican before they will a phony Democrat, and I don't want any phony Democratic candidates in this campaign.”

“The first time I came here it was 10 days, then 15 days, then three months. Now this time I have to stay to April. I'm slowly getting stuck here and I miss Europe.”