“You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up.”

“If you ever wonder whether or not someone is too good for you, I'd advise going through their trash. Really. No one looks superior after that.”

“You need someone to lift your spirits. You need someone to look you in the face and say, "This isn't the end. Don't give up. There is a better place than this. And I'll lead you there.”

“You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant.
You mean the sledgehammer, sir?
Yes.”

“Muslims are hardly welcome to pick up the trash on Europe's playgrounds. Don't let Europe's current round of playing pacifist dress up fool you: This is the continent that perfected genocide and ethnic cleansing, the happy-go-lucky slice of humanity that brought us such recent hits as the Holocaust and Srebenica.”

“You can knock down kingdoms on a whim. What you need is someone to make sure you don't get hit by a carriage when you cross the street.”

“You don't need a reason to forgive… If you want to go on with someone, that is what you do.”

“They had no game plan for losing.... Because when you can't win a game, you need to run the clock, don't let it stop, don't throw passes incomplete... get the game over with, get on the bus and go home.”

“You don't have the stupidest family in the world, you don't have the goofiest family in the world. And if you ever need to verify that, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Five minutes at a fair, you'll be going, "You know what? We're all right. We're dang near royalty!"”

“God, sometimes you just don't come through. Do you need a woman to look after you?”