“Happy birthday. And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake.”

“It’s my birthday, Horus insisted. Wish me happy birthday!
“Happy birthday!” I yelled. “Now shut up!”

“You know," I told him,"if you don't know how to eat a cupcake, that's nothing to be ashamed of."
Now he did smile. "I know how to eat a cupcake."
"Sure you do."
"I do," he said. "I just don't want one of those."
"Yeah? Prove it.”

“Happy Birthday Seaweed Brain”

“Happy Birthday!' I yelled, 'Now, shut up!”

“Spader and I were nearly killed. Three times. We were also robbed and witnessed a gruesome murder. Happy birthday to me!”

“What do you mean -- Happy anniversary? It's not my birthday.”

“You know it doesn't make much sense,
There ought to be a law against
Anyone who takes offence
At a day in your celebration,
'Cause we all know in our minds
That there ought to be a time
That we can set aside
To show just how much we love you,
And I'm sure you would agree,
What could fit more perfectly
Than to have a world party
On the day you came to be?
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday.”

“Get it wrong, and we call it a cult. Get it right, in the right time and the right place, and maybe, for the next few millennia, people won't have to go to work on your birthday.”

“When carrying a jar of honey to give to a friend for his birthday, don't stop and eat it along the way.”