Woody Allen idézet

oldal 7

„A férfiak megtanulják szeretni azt a nőt, amelyhez vonzódnak. A nők megtanulnak vonzódni ahhoz az emberhez, amelybe bele szeretnek.”

„Műveltségének hiányát bőven ellensúlyozza a fejlett erkölcsi csődje.”

„A szex szerelem nélkül csak üres szenvedély. Viszont az üres szenvedélyek között az egyik legjobb.”

„Az élet szörnyűségre és nyomorúságra oszlik.”

„Hogyan lehetséges egy véges világban értelmet találni, a derekam es az ingem méreténél?”

„Úgy tűnt, hogy a világ jó és rossz emberekre oszlott. A jók jobban aludtak, míg a rosszak mintha sokkal jobban élvezték volna az ébrenlétet.”

„Nem vagyok antiszociális. Csak nem vagyok társasági ember.”

„Megdöbbenek azokon az embereken, akik meg akarják "ismerni" az univerzumot, amikor elég nehéz eligazodni a kínai negyedben is.”

„A fénynél gyorsabban utazni lehetetlen, és semmiképpen sem kívánatos, mert az ember kalapja állandóan elrepülne.”

„A szex piszkos? Csak akkor, ha jól hajtják végre.”

„A kérdést nem tudom, de a válasz határozottan a szex.”

„A szex és a szerelem között az a különbség, hogy a szex oldja a feszültséget, a szerelem pedig azt okozza.”

„Ha soha nem hibázol, az azt jelenti, hogy nem csinálsz semmi innovatívat.”

„A siker nyolcvan százaléka a megjelenésben rejlik.”

„Az önbizalom az, amid van, mielőtt megérted problémát.”

„Lehetetlen objektíven átélni a saját halálunkat, és közben még mindig hordozni magunkban a dallamot.”

„Nem hallgathatok annyi Wagnert, tudod? Kezdek késztetést érezni arra, hogy meghódítsam Lengyelországot.”

„Kirúgtak a főiskoláról, mert csaltam a metafizika vizsgán; belenéztem a mellettem ülő fiú lelkébe.”

„Érdekes módon a modern csillagászok szerint a tér véges. Ez egy nagyon megnyugtató gondolat - különösen azoknak, akik sosem emlékeznek arra, hogy hol hagytak el dolgokat.”

„Elvégeztem egy gyorsolvasó tanfolyamot, és húsz perc alatt elolvastam a "Háború és békét". Oroszorszáhgoz kötődik.”

„Nem a műveim által akarok halhatatlanná válni. Azáltal szeretnék, hogy nem halok meg.”

„Számodra ateista vagyok; Isten számára én vagyok a hűséges ellenzék.”

„Ez egy mennyei párosítás... egy retardált angyal által.”

„Ha meg akarod nevettetni Istent, mesélj neki a terveidről.”

„Ha kiderül, hogy van Isten... a legrosszabb, amit mondhatsz róla, hogy alapvetően egy alulteljesítő.”

„Vizsgáztam egzisztencializmusból. Minden választ üresen hagytam, és 100 pontot kaptam.”

„Ha Jézus visszajönne, és látná, mit tesznek a nevében, egyfolytában hányna.”

„Az egyetlen, amit sajnálok az életben az, hogy nem vagyok valaki más.”

„Hiszem, hogy valami odakint figyel minket. Sajnos, a kormány az.”

„Nem a munkámmal akarom elérni a halhatatlanságot; a halhatatlanságot azzal akarom elérni, hogy nem halok meg. Nem a honfitársaim szívében akarok tovább élni; a lakásomban akarok tovább élni.”

„Az örök semmi is jó, ha éppen ahhoz vagy öltözve.”

“To a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat — especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.”

“I was supremely confident my flair for atmosphere and characterization would sparkle alongside the numbing mulch ground out by studio hacks. Certainly the space atop my mantel might be better festooned by a gold statuette than by the plastic dipping bird that now bobbed there ad infinitum.”

“My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it,
All I can do is wait for it”

“…years of insanity have made this guy crazy!”

“And how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?”

“To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.”

“They called me mad… But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!”

“Hey listen — I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.”

“I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics.”

“Of all the famous men who ever lived, the one I would most like to have been was Socrates. Not just because he was a great thinker, because I have been known to have some reasonably profound insights myself, although mine invariably revolve around a Swedish airline stewardess and some handcuffs.”

“The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife — a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.”

“Agathon: But all that talk about death being the same as sleep.
Socrates: Yes, the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, "Everybody up, it's morning," it's very hard to find your slippers.”

“With that, he scribbled in an additional ninety thousand dollars on the estimate, which had waxed to the girth of the Talmud while rivaling it in possible interpretations.”

“I have also reviewed my own financial obligations, which have puffed up recently like a hammered thumb.”

“Bidnick gorges himself on Viagra, but the dosage makes him hallucinate and causes him to imagine he is Pliny the Elder.”

“Rabbi Raditz of Poland was a very short rabbi with a long beard, who was said to have inspired many pogroms with his sense of humor. One of his disciples asked, "Who did God like better, Moses or Abraham?"
"Abraham," the Zaddik said.
"But Moses led the Israelites to the Promised Land," said the disciple.
"All right, so Moses," the Zaddik answered.”

“In addition to our summer and winter estate, he owned a valuable piece of land. True, it was a small piece, but he carried it with him wherever he went.”

“I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”

“We have to take our possessions and flee. I'm very good at that. I was the men's freestyle fleeing champion two years in a row.”

“Cookie: What are you sad about?Harry: I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty.Cookie: What do you mean?Harry: I'm frightened. I got no soul, you know what I mean? Let me put it this way: when I was younger it was less scary waiting for Lefty than it is waiting for Godot.Cookie: You lost me!Harry: You know that the universe is coming apart? You know about that? You know what a black hole is?Cookie: Yeah. That's how I make my living.”

“This is my perspective and has always been my perspective on life: I have a very grim, pessimistic view of it. I always have, since I was a little boy. It hasn’t gotten worse with age or anything. I do feel that it’s a grim, painful, nightmarish, meaningless experience, and that the only way that you can be happy is if you tell yourself some lies and deceive yourself.”

“And so I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Actually, make that "I run through the valley of the shadow of death" - in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death more quickly, you see.”

“Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.”

“I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle of the page, and I was able to go through War and Peace in 20 minutes. It’s about Russia”

“What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!”

“[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.”

“I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.”

“We're worth a lot of dough. Whatever you see is antiques. This thing here. This is from — I don't remember exactly. I think it's the Renaissance or the Magna Carta or something. But that's where it's from.”

“It figures you’ve got to hate yourself if you’ve got any integrity at all.”