“For the record if someone did that to me I'd hitch a ride to the International Space Station straight away; of course who am I kidding, they would never let me in, I've got spiders for hands! Internet is mean!”
Last Week Tonight: Online Harassment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNIwYsz7PI Last Week Tonight: Online Harassment (21 June 2015)
Last Week Tonight (2014–present)
Help us to complete the source, original and additional information
John Oliver 16
English comedian 1977Related quotes
This is the Truth! (1949)
Context: I guess right here is a good place for me to get the record straight on how I got to be "Shoeless Joe." I've read and heard every kind of yarn imaginable about how I got the name, but this is how it really happened:
When I was with Greenville back in 1908, we only had 12 men on the roster. I was first off a pitcher, but when I wasn't pitching I played the outfield. I played in a new pair of shoes one day and they wore big blisters on my feet. The next day we came up short of players, a couple of men hurt and one missing. Tommy Stouch — he was a sportswriter in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, the last I heard of him — was the manager, and he told me I'd just have to play, blisters or not.
I tried it with my old shoes on and just couldn't make it. He told me I'd have to play anyway, so I threw away the shoes and went to the outfield in my stockinged feet. I hadn't put out much until along about the seventh inning I hit a long triple and I turned it on. That was in Anderson, and the bleachers were close to the baselines there. As I pulled into third, some big guy stood up and hollered: "You shoeless sonofagun, you!"
They picked it up and started calling me Shoeless Joe all around the league, and it stuck. I never played the outfield barefoot, and that was the only day I ever played in my stockinged feet, but it stuck with me.
"I Want to Be Your Driver" (1965)
Song lyrics
“Think of me what you will,
I've got a little space to fill.”
You Don't Know How it Feels
Lyrics, Wildflowers (1994)
“I'd rather be nice to someone spoiled than mean to someone who really could use a hand.”
"Doing Good — for the right reasons!" (13 March 2008)
Context: We should not, certainly, punish other people in general because of an apparent lack of gratitude on the part of some. It could be that people are so busy they seem ungrateful — or they actually are thankless! But this is OK — I'd rather be nice to someone spoiled than mean to someone who really could use a hand.
