“Fay: You've been a widower for three days. Have you considered remarrying yet?
McLeavy: No.
Fay: Why not?
McLeavy: I've been so busy with the funeral.”

— Joe Orton

Loot (1965), Act I

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Joe Orton 50

English playwright and author 1933–1967

Joe Orton (1933–1967) English playwright and author

Loot (1965), Act I

“McLeavy: Where did I go wrong? His upbringing was faultless. Did you lead him astray?
Dennis: I was innocent till I met him.
Hal: You met me when you were three days old.”

Joe Orton (1933–1967) English playwright and author

Loot (1965), Act II

“Like many widows, she came to the unwise decision of remarrying.”

Honoré de Balzac book Pierrette

Comme beaucoup de veuves, elle eut l'idée malsaine de se remarier.
Source: Pierrette (1840), Ch. I: The Lorrains.

“All the emails I get these days start with sorry but I've been so busy, and I don't understand how we can be so busy and then have nothing to say to each other.”

Jon McGregor book If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things

Source: If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things

“Fay: The priest at St Kilda's has asked me to speak to you. He's very worried. He says you spend your time thieving from slot machines and deflowering the daughters of better men than yourself. Is this a fact?
Hal: Yes.
Fay: And even the sex you were born into isn't safe from your marauding. Father Mac is popular for the remission of sins, as you know. But clearing up after you is a full-time job. He simply cannot be in the confessional twenty-four hours a day. That's reasonable, isn't it? You do see his point?”

Joe Orton (1933–1967) English playwright and author

Loot (1965), Act I

“If you've been successful, you didn't get there on your own. If you've got a business, you didn't build that, somebody else made that happen.”

Barack Obama (1961) 44th President of the United States of America

Misquoted by Mitt Romney " These Hands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLZpMFbxyxU" campaign ad ()
[2012-07-19, Romney video deceptively edits Obama speech to make it sound anti-business, Greg, Sargent, The Plum Line, The Washington Post, http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/post/the-morning-plum-romney-video-deceptively-edits-obama-speech-to-make-it-sound-anti-business/2012/07/19/gJQAoRpavW_blog.html, 2012-10-08]
The Web version of the ad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lr49t4-2b8 uses a longer misquote: "If you've been successful, you didn't get there on your own. You didn't get there on your own. I'm always struck by people who think, "well, it must be because I was just so smart." There are a lot of smart people out there. "It must be because I worked harder than everybody else." Let me tell you something — if you've got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen.
Splices two parts of a speech in Roanoke, Virginia on (see above). Full quote:
There are a lot of wealthy, successful Americans who agree with me — because they want to give something back. They know they didn't — look, if you've been successful, you didn't get there on your own. You didn't get there on your own. I'm always struck by people who think, "well, it must be because I was just so smart." There are a lot of smart people out there. "It must be because I worked harder than everybody else." Let me tell you something — there are a whole bunch of hardworking people out there.If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges; if you've got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen. The Internet didn't get invented on its own. Government research created the Internet so that all the companies could make money off the Internet.
Misattributed