“Don't eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as food.”

“My grandmother would shanghai pilots at the Havana airport so they'd bring me cartons of mango baby food -- the only kind I'd eat. I learned to eat peach later. And in every carton, she'd slip in a Cuban record.”

“You need an Ego, if you didn't have an ego you wouldn't know who's mouth to put food in, when eating in a restaurant.”

“She said to her, "Grandmother, what great arms you have!"
"That's to embrace you the better, my child."
"Grandmother, what great legs you have!"
"That's to run the better, my child."
"Grandmother, what great ears you have!"
"That's to hear the better, my child."
"Grandmother, what great teeth you have!"
"That's for to eat you."
And upon saying these words, this naughty Wolf threw himself upon Little Red Riding Hood, and ate her.”

“Don't eat anything incapable of rotting.”

“Rachel Trachtenburg: I really like the food at that place (Sidewalk Cafe). They have salads and pastas and stuff like that. What's your favorite food?
Kimya Dawson: I like cherries.
Rachel: That's a fruit. I said food.
Kimya: Fruit's food.
Rachel: You don't sit down and eat it. You don't eat it at a restaurant, like, "Oh, I'd like a fruit, please." You say, "I'd like a pizza please, or the pasta." Do you like Indian food? Mexican food? Italian food?
Kimya: Japanese food.
Rachel: Okay.”

“First offer to God whatever you eat. One must not eat unoffered food. As your food is, so will be your blood. From pure food you get pure blood, pure mind, and strength. Pure mind begets ecstatic love”

“I still remember when my teacher told me that football wouldn't give me anything to eat”

“Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.”

“There's always time to read. Don't trust a writer who doesn't read. It's like eating food prepared by a cook who doesn't eat.”