“(Television) Spray and wash gets out what America gets into. (Sylvia) Send some to El Salvador.”

“(Voice on television) Midol relives the special pain that women get (Sylvia) when they realize they picked the wrong man, again.”

“(Television) Alabama's ban against vibrators stands…State says there's no constitutional right to an orgasm. (Sylvia) Rita, get my copy of the Bill of Rights. (Rita) I think that's in the Declaration of Independence.”

“(Television) We are aggressively striking the terrorists in Iraq, defeating them there so that we will not have to face them in our own country. (Sylvia) Oh, good. So once we get rid of those, there won't be any more.”

“I coulda got mad. But then I had to stop and think, well, what did he get in school? What did he get in his work experience? What did he get even from his own union, that gave him some tools to understand what he was seeing on that television?”

“(Television) The brain is differently wired in men and women. (Sylvia) In men, the wires are loose.”

“Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.”

“(Television) Humor will never be the same. Sarcasm, irony, and cynicism will disappear. (Sylvia) Right. I'm having mine surgically removed. (Rita) Ma, cut it out!”

“(Television) Women hold up half the sky. (Sylvia) Uh huh, but in a poor neighborhood.”

“(Television) There's a special feeling about being a woman. You do so much for everyone around you. But some days (Sylvia) You realize you've been had.”